I did this with having no kids.
“Ohh I’m not in a position to create a good life for an offspring.”
“Ohh now I’m over 40 no kids for me, I guess it’s better anyway. The climate catastrophe is real the World is on fire.”The truth here that many people won’t get is that you can start your life anytime you want. Waiting for a good menu option to click on doesn’t work. In my early 20s I was an introverted, anxiety-ridden computer geek. Then I took a community college acting class and discovered my passion for theatre - did acting, stage design, lighting, directing… it created almost an instant social life, tons of friends and looking forward to every day. My job became just a necessary detail, my real life was after work.
Anyway I encourage everyone to figure out how to get their life started. Doesn’t matter what the economy is like or your personal history or circumstances - it’s not you - nobody’s life has ever cared if they lived it or not.
It took me until my early 30s before I realized this. It’s time to begin. Let’s do this!
(Next year I am going to go travelling to Paris and likely Amsterdam too)
Just hit my mid 30s. Feeling like working hard only gets your more hard work. Not that I’m in a bad spot but for real what does it all mean
It’s never too early to do that thing you always wanted to do. Sure, you only get 5000 weeks at most, but that’s plenty if you make good use of them.
Also known as the “protestant work ethic” by someone trying to sell protestantism probably
Make your life as close to what you want it to be in the present as you can personally achieve, and make plans. Focus on what you want to accomplish this day, week, month, year, 5 years, decade, and by the time you retire. Adjust as necessary if you go off track, whether faster or slower.
Time will pass. Harness it.
This seems relevant -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsAd4HGJS4o
TLDW: You have to change your mindset. Do not accept the default, be mindful and self-aware.
Accept that good actions will not give an immediate or always measurable result for you to observe.
You are a social being. What matters most is often not what increases you in status, but what increases others in wellbeing or allows you to appreciate the beauty in lifem
On your death bed you will not wish to have worked more, but probably to have spent more time with people dear to you or that you had spent more time for actions that nudge society a tiny bit more towards your values.
Capitalism especially todays consumerism is built around manipulating you to identify yourself with superficial status. Breaking free of that will open yourself to value your time and actions as meaningful as they become meaningful, even if there is no number or title attachable to it.
Capitalism also exploits the inherent nature of humans to please and feel validated by others through work. However, the system initially stems from the idea that individuality is sovereign and the cornerstone of successful being and society as a whole. However, no one notices or questions this paradox. Capitalism promotes individualism, and yet if you are not immersed in the grind, hustle and productivity culture, you are deemed lazy and unproductive by society. In other words, even in a system that touts individuality, the worth of someone is still tied to impressing society at large. At the end of the day, you’re not pleasing yourself or your colleagues, you are pleasing those at the top who are earning more than you ever will.
This quote really struck a chord with me:
Over the years as we all worked our way into time as if it were a field of sawgrass, cutting our ankles, a slog into middle age for me and a slow sunken decline towards death for the generation before me and my siblings. There were break-ups, fuck-ups, children and my own struggles with misty sorrow that has seemed to follow me like a sick-feral cat. A walking disappointment was what I felt like much of the time, even though I had enough confidence in myself to live the kind of life I desired. […] In my mind I see the universe swirling like a giant whirlpool swallowing up everything all at once, and in this grand whirlpool people are smaller than a droplet of water rushing over Niagara Falls and then become mist. And when I die, my memories die with me and perhaps for one or two generations I will be remembered for a few things in my life but not for the mundane or what my daily interactions were like, not the cuddling of my dog nor the pride in my children or the laughter I was a part of, so much laughter that it caused people’s head’s to turn.
When you die, they will put two dates on your tombstone. The day you were born and the day you died. And, in between will be a little dash. That dash represents everything that mattered about your life. All your achievements and failures, all your joy and all your pain. All roll up in just a little dash. Make the most of it before that second date is written.
Remind me to start writing a diary in clay tablets, I’m gonna own the rest of graveyard and future archaeologists!
It worked for our boy Ea-Nasir.
“My kids will live the life I wish I had”
Don’t worry, our overlords are planning for us to benefit from their anti-aging research too! When they turn us into servitors.
And this feeling is why I started picking up music again after I stopped playing/recording for nearly 12 years. I’ve worked too hard and focused so much on being successful when I’ve forgotten what makes me truly happy.
Word. All of these efficiencies and inefficiencies… humanness is distinct from it
It’s hard to come to terms with sometimes. Looking at a staff with 3 bars, or a short riff, then thinking man, did I review my finances for the month? But the time isn’t wasted. The pastime isn’t a reward. It’s as important as the work.
But you don’t have to be a monk to balance again :)
I had workaholic parents who expected “retirement” to finally be the time to enjoy life. So they grinded, 60 hour work weeks for decades. They made a ton of money but by the time they made it to retirement they destroyed their bodies.
My mom has extremely severe chronic hip pain and cannot sit down. Due to constantly working in an office her muscles were severely atrophied and she cannot find the motivation to get back in shape. She spends the vast majority of her time in bed, completely exhausted.
My father suffered chronic stress and once passed out at work. He struggles with high blood pressure and went partially blind. He is still working due to decisions I can’t share here.
The grind culture is such an alluring chopping block. A meat grinder… some people go in, apply for a thousand internships, work three jobs, but not all of them go out. Is it a weak vs. strong separator? Am I weak?
I hope not. I’m just an archer, not a tank, I’d like to think.
I’m sorry your dad still has to work, and about their injuries.
