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Cake day: June 1st, 2026

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  • to play devil’s advocate: if i want 1990-2005 era graphics i’d rather just play games from that era because they were better.

    i want GOOD AAA games in 2026, just like i want good hollywood blockbusters in 2026, just like i want good pop music in 2026.

    i don’t want to spend 5485080485 hours sorting through garbage to find a $2 gem. anyone over 40 knows this pain; zoomers are in denial and make memes like this to justify their pathetic lives and smugly look down on everyone who isn’t willing to go the distance for a fleeting experience that’s lacking in comparison to some crappy dos game from 35 years ago, like martian memorandum.


  • i’ve never been terrified of anything, except a fox. i watched that episode of x-files that featured the chupacabra and then encountered a fox out in the wild–you can imagine this loss of suburban innocence if you think hard about it and use your imagination. now, a typical fox looks nothing like a mexican goatsucker (maybe if it was bulked up with cans of goya black beans and had bigger teeth) but it put the scare into me because i had only encountered the occasional groundhog and stray cat at night; back then you didn’t see too many bums around.

    one of those stray cats used to come around a lot and i named it ‘sugar’ because it was stark white and that song fly was on the radio a lot, the one by that band sugar ray. and after it hung around for awhile (i would leave out bush’s baked beans in a tupperware container because i felt bad) it became part of the family. i renamed it ‘yeti’ because i thought sugar was too homoerotic but that’s for another post.



  • i thought i was paranoid for feeling this way. it if isn’t the obvious surveillance, it’s the security guard standing near the front or the employees scrutinizing you.

    this phenomena is most extreme at stores like burlington/marshalls, where they’ll often rope off the entrance and have an employee dressed up like a swat team member to discourage criminal activity.

    old man take: you used to only see this bullshit at stores in the worst neighborhoods and that only started popping up around the crash of 2008.


  • not a leftist or a tankie but america has probably caused more distress to immigrant women in the last year than north korea has caused in its entire existence.

    think of the pain of every immigrant wife/mother/daughter in america as either they or their loved ones have been hauled away to who knows where.

    really weird pearl clutching going on here.




  • all that stuff IS trash. abandonware websites have been around since the late 90s. preservation is a cool ideal. i mean, collecting cartridges from retro systems is a just hobby because there’s historical value in the games as physical objects and because you need the system to play them.

    PC games? not so much, unless you’re considering them as a complete product with the box and instruction manual and all that. those CD’s aren’t even going to work on a modern computer; you’ll have to fiddle with dosbox or some emulator; so why not just have a digital copy?

    this isn’t preservation–it’s mental illness justified with ideas of preservation; most of this haul are trash-worthy CD-R’s with official artwork and a case.



  • who cares about athletics?

    i never heard of the ‘soccer age’ because no sport has ever moved our species forward. i’m definitely over here in 2026 celebrating ty cobb; without that dude i wouldn’t have electricity in my house so i can watch MLB games. the only reason anyone knows the name ‘ty cobb’ is because his baseball card was worth so much. that’s our priority beyond athletics. how much does this athlete make per year?

    what’s your net worth???

    americans love sports so much because we devalue intellect and anything that makes us human. we even frame intellect as pretentious, like all those depictions of impenetrable silent french films and classical compositions that take a mountain of education to understand, even though both are always rooted in universal, human emotions.


  • they are though.

    anyone who grew up in the american suburbs grew up with parents who couldn’t cook a proper meal despite the existence of cookbooks and were like ‘how about kraft dinner.’

    you think you eat kraft macaroni and cheese at a hood bbq?

    i’d rather have had a black woman cooking for me lol. are you fucking serious?


  • dumb people have always bought crap. just because components are more expensive doesn’t change anything–a savvy computer user is always going to go for pre-built. i’d personally take out a loan before i bought a meta pc even if steep discounts are on the menu.

    it also makes me think that all the conspiratorial talk is just talk. maybe all these companies are conspiring to raise prices so they can sell you garbage like this pathetic excuse for a pc.

    but that doesn’t fit into the ‘all rich people are geniuses’ narrative. greed doesn’t require intelligence. even someone with an intense hunger and a 50 IQ is gonna try and put their hand into your burger king bag and swipe a fry or two.



  • this post highlights how the tortilla and the baked potato are similar in that they’re just empty vessels waiting to be filled by fixins; in less ideal restaurants this expression of culinary freedom is known as a ‘a bar,’ but this is based on hearsay since i’d never set foot in a place like that.

    i think this is a profound statement on culture and class that will, no doubt, go over the heads of many reading this.

    we all love sour cream no matter what race we are, what culture we belong to, and i think that’s absolutely insane if you think about it, that we are capable of liking the same things despite differences that seem important if you think beyond sour cream. how can such a simple food bind us together?

    i never actually thought about why it’s called sour cream before it was dolloped on a traditional taco bought in a border town in mexico when i was visiting to purchase an inexpensive crown–this is when the sour stood tall against the savory blend of spices, yet despite this feud they complimented each other, and this nearly broke me because my sheltered palette had never known such flavors–what an astonishing blend of mysterious ethnic spices you’ll never find in a packet.

    but my smile is a little crooked and they fixed that up for a budget price. it always bothered me to work in a professional environment and not have a perfect smile, i could feel the judgement in zoom meetings although nobody ever said anything. they made really good burritos in _____ , and i’ll never forget that just like i’ll never forget my perfect smile courtesy of mexico. no more chipotle for me, only food trucks, and i tip my gardener an extra 20%.


  • whereitsat@lemmy.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldI'm doing my part
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    1 month ago

    i remember the great plastic transition of 1995. on the trek though GRAND UNION to buy macaroni salad ingredients and store brand chips, i asked my mom why there were so many plastic bottles, and she replied ‘we’re like pioneers’ and she referenced little house on the prairie, and i still didn’t understand what she was getting at, so she slapped some sense into me right in aisle 13 and i pretended i understood so she’d leave me alone for five minutes.

    a few weeks ago my MD said that i have colon cancer and i assume that’s from pounding cases of fruitopia when it was in vogue but who am i gonna sue? is big plastic a thing?

    i tried to tell my mom it was her fault but when i tried to call all i heard was a dial tone. i thought that was weird at the time because cell-phones don’t have dial tones but my therapist said i was hallucinating; she still won’t prescribe me xanax.