I see a spectrum of minds; not the toys, genders, or fixations. I also see a nearly inescapable addiction that must be managed by everyone. When I ask myself “why this or that kink,” it is the spectrum of motivations and mind of the underlying individual that really determines where the person lies in some sense of extremities of measure against other humans. I find people’s sense of self awareness in this space as interesting; their self perception at something that is ultimately nothing more than health and addiction management in the human condition.

I rate myself a 7 because I know there are limits to my self awareness like blind spots in complex ways along with most of the areas where I must be careful. Like my size and strength do not always match the person I am inside. I can both intimidate and cause harm if I am not careful. Someone that asks to go hard might get a bit more than they bargained for. It’s not really my thing, but exploring the full scope of their thing is, and therein lies the potential problem.

In my opinion, far more people are 7-10 even when they are ultra conservative and vanilla in their exploration of sexuality. The evidence is in those that have records of harm, and had unexpected encounters that lead to a series of very poor decisions. To me, these are the most dangerous individuals with the most extreme perversions. Those that know themselves and enjoy a thrill, are completely normal, harmless, and of absolutely no concern to me. This does not mean that I directly correlate a scale of perversion with a general potential for harm. I view the the individual’s self awareness and intent as the critical dimensions. Only they can truly know these aspects of themselves. I can infer much, but it takes time. So for the most part I simply lack the relevant data to make judgements about anyone. People with self proclaimed extreme interests, are like athletes in extreme sports. I see the real extremes as those that lack self awareness or those that have never matured to a point of developing their own internal sense of ethics outside of social constructs like religion. These are like obese people that are unhealthy and the real potential danger.