I had a social life in college, but in my early 20s I moved across the country and had to start from scratch. So I knew how to be friends with people but not how to make friends.

Of course it’s possible. You can make friends at any age. Just don’t look to tv and movies to define what a “social life” is. It’ll probably be more sparse and less stable than sitcoms would have you believe.

The best way to start is to take up a hobby that involves interacting with real people.

It’s never too late.

My 20s were complete garbage. I can’t remember most of what happened there because nothing ever happened. At the end I didn’t see any hope for myself and had some disturbing thoughts. But I’ve come around somehow and met my now best friends and many other nice people during my 30s. I owe them my life basically. Though I still have trouble finding romantic connection and I’m not trying anymore.

Where I meet people: At work, neighbors, hiking or board game groups

I think it’s important to get out and meet many different people, even without ever becoming friends. You learn social skills, you have more things to talk about with others, you feel more accepted in general, it’s a spiral upwards.

I’ve had close to 0 social life in high school and the first year of college.
What turned me around was joining a board game club.

What I’ve learned from this experience is that everyone
has a minimum and maximum amount of time and slots for friendships
and newcomers are the ones most likely with empty friendships slots.

Of course it’s not too late, it only appears harder because in school we spent a lot of time during the week with many people the same age. But only a fraction of that time is needed, all it takes is being around people and talking to people.

Many on lemmy rightly complain of the lack of “third spaces” nowadays in many of the richer countries (you said college I’m guessing US or UK?), so for example in many places it’d be a bit weird to just go to the pub alone. But you can also just go alone and do and enjoy whatever you want, it just takes a bit more confidence, the embarassment of it usually wears off with age for most.

What’s probably easier is joining some semi-regular activity where you get to chat. So pub quiz night, language exchange, chess club, hiking group, etc… are more likely to aid you in this compared to loud night clubs, the gym, or whatever, it’s all subjective it’s still important to do the stuff you enjoy, regardless of socializing.

You start a social life many times on your life. The people around you will change many times, and your relationships will change as well.

Don’t feel pushed to start a social life.

Also, it’s a skill you will take time thlo learn and make lots of mistakes, don’t worry, it’s normal.

And don’t look for others approval in general, ota just wrong, but perfectly normal to look for. Still wrong

Absolutely. I was an absolute loner for the better part of a decade. Then my depression just disappeared. I joined a community around a streamer and had loads of fun. Just find the intersection between your preferred subject (literary analysis, anime tiddies, etc.) and your preferred communication method. (Text forum, voice chat, real life meetings, etc.) You’ll find at least someone you can hang with, maybe more. Just go at it with openness and joy.

Of course you can, it just requires more work. Find a group of like-minded people by joining a evening class; group training; volunteer at an event; etc…

It requires a lot of effort, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

Mid-20s is honestly the perfect time to start

It’s definitely harder after college, but not impossible. You’re just going to have to put in a bit of effort. The two best recommendations I can make are:

1. getting involved in some kind of hobby that’s either inherently social (board games, team sports, etc.) or puts you together in the same place with other hobbyists (I’ve done a lot of socializing at rock climbing gyms, despite it technically being a solo thing)

2. working a job that forces you to socialize in small doses (hospitality, customer service, etc). Being thrust into micro interactions dozens of times a day makes it a lot easier to approach people in casual settings.

Dude, it’s literally never too late. x3

There’s old people fuck-a-thons in retirement homes for heaven’s sake, lol. And those people are almost a century old.

Get on meetup.com if you aren’t sure what’s out there, but there’s all sorts of fun stuff going on! Meetup is platonic.

As someone mentioned before: play boardgames. The nice thing is you don’t need any cause we gamers already have plenty and are always looking for people to play with.

Also go volunteering. You’ll meet people of different ages, genders and backgrounds. I myself volunteer in a youth centre in my neighbourhood. Initially I knew no one on the streets. Now people recognise me, teens and parents alike, say hello and acknowledge me. I myself like this. It makes the neighbourhood feel more welcoming and save. Initially I „hid“ behind our counter having a save distance between me and the teens until I felt comfortable and feeling like I can intrude their space. It takes time. But it is worth it.

I romanticize when I was in my mid twenties lamenting how old I was. Just fucking do what you think you ought to do and stop asking the retards on Lemmy for permission.

No, not at all! As you grow older, it may not be as automatic as when you are in school. Many of the people that you interact with might be focused on their own stuff (work, partner, family, hobbies, finance) and not too motivated to expand or even have a “social life” in whatever free time they have (if they even do). But this is not everyone. There is still a lot of people at every age that do want a social life, you just need to put in a bit of effort to connect with them.

And, a tip, do not consider failed attempts at socializing as a “failure” on your side. Perceived rejection often boils down to people being very attached to their free time, and socializing not being on their list of priorities. If you keep this in mind then you do not need to feel discomfort from rejection, and you can be active in your search for like-minded people without worry.

I hope so, otherwise I’m fucked.