• TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    There are sacrifices, but I don’t feel like I’ve given up my life.

    Yeah, I think one has to think about carefully first before having kids, and be prepared what they have to sacrifice. Raising a child is not easy.

    I think what this post is portraying is regret that they haven’t expected on what sacrifices they have to make to take care of a child. A lot of people want to get married and/or have kids just for the sake of it, because that is what society expect them to do.

    • vonbaronhans@midwest.social
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      4 days ago

      Another big part is that so many people have virtually zero support. It’s just them and their kids. For the first few years, we lived a 4.5hr drive from any family support. I don’t even know how you find and vet babysitters these days.

      It doesn’t help that we’re atheists, so we don’t even get the built in community support that a lot of churches provide.

      • relic_@lemm.ee
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        4 days ago

        I’m in a similar position. Secular childcare is insanely expensive and the only alternative is church preschool. For what its worth, I don’t worry about the more liberal religious schools as kids believe in Santa at that age anyways.

        • vonbaronhans@midwest.social
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          4 days ago

          Wait there are no babysitters in Japan? I was only there for a year as a very much childless young adult, but for some reason I assumed there would be babysitters. Thinking back, I don’t think I ever knew someone who babysat unless it was an older sibling looking after younger siblings. Heck, I don’t even know the Japanese word for it. Wow, for some reason I really thought that was only a modern American problem.

          • WalnutLum@lemmy.ml
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            3 days ago

            Nope, there’s only a few on-call childcare services and they’re very expensive and booked way out in advance. You also have to do interviews with the care provider.