I’m (19F by the way, not like 50) a bad texter. I can be not dry when I want to be, but usually I’m just not up for texting. I really don’t engage with my friends. (I’m asocial).

I don’t participate in their activities. I don’t really ask them how they are, or what their interests are. I don’t even engage in deep discussion with them unless I’m up for it.

When my friend sends a video that reminded her of me or that she finds funny, I don’t click it and just ignore it.

Maybe my friends are growing apart and they text me less because of this, but I’m kind of okay with that because I know they will be there for me when I need it and because I’m genuinely just tired/bored most of the time.

One time, my friend asked me if I’d like to spend time with her, and I just point-blank said “No”. IDK if that’s rude just because I’m being honest and also because it’s not personal, I don’t want to engage with anyone.

  • CatDemons4@lemmings.worldOP
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    3 days ago

    Was this a better effort?

    “how are you?”

    “Listening to music.”

    “what band??”

    “Idk. Metallica or something”

    “what song from them? i love metallica”

    “Idk”

    —- “what are you up to today?”

    “Watching TV”

    “what show?”

    “Idk I can’t say”

    Also, do I actually type like a 50-year-old?

    • rico@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 days ago

      you don’t type like a 50 year old, you type like someone who’s not interested in having a conversation

    • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
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      2 days ago

      Of course not, if I was chatting with you I’d feel like I was bothering you.

      • “How are you?”
      • “Listening to music”
      • “What band?”
      • “It’s on shuffle, I think it’s Metallica”
      • “What song from them? I love Metallica”
      • “IDK, let me check. It’s ‘Sad But True’. I think it’s actually good”.

      —-

      • “What are you up to today?”
      • “Watching TV”
      • “What show?”
      • “It’s Rick and Morty, but don’t tell anyone”
      • “Why?”
      • “I’m afraid others will think I’m an incel or something”

      My mom and mother-in-law are in their 80s, and they’re not great texters but you can tell they’re making an effort, and that counts a lot. It’s not about caring about how well you text, but how a series of dry answers might make your friends feel like a nuisance.

      You need to “groom” others to care about you so they tolerate antisocial behaviors, but not all people can be groomed this way.

    • Aurora@lemmy.ml
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      3 days ago

      Not really better. How do you not know what you’re doing? Did the show just randomly come on when you turned on the TV/Metallica song came up in a playlist?