I don’t get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I’m not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.
I’m not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it’s studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I’m just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don’t go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.
Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?
I mean, if that’s what makes you feel fulfilled in life, you do you.
I can say that I’ve spoken with a lot of elderly people looking back on their lives and it’s nearly unanimous that they all say they’d wish they’d spent less time at work and more with their family. I’ve never once heard someone say the opposite.
I’m in my late 30s, so still pretty young, but with a bit more experience than you. I can tell you that your employer will never care about you beyond what financial benefit you bring. They’ll never be there for you when you hit hard times. They’ll never help support you when you need it. They’ll never be your shoulder to cry on or provide you emotional support. That’s what friends and family are for.
Focus on your career if that’s what you want right now, but be mindful of where you might be in 10, 20, or 30 years or where you want to be. Finding a partner in life doesn’t just happen because you’re successful in your career or expect it should. You need to put effort into making that happen. If you don’t know what you want out of life, now is the time to experiment to figure that out. Do you want to be a career-driven person who spends most of their time selling your labor to someone else? Do you want to build a business you own yourself? Do you want to have kids and a family? Do you want to travel and experience a lot of the world?
These are questions only you can answer for yourself. You don’t need to have the answers now, but now is the time to start figuring out those answers.