I’m going to make my own Boomer-esque gender observation here: people generally don’t like having the fact that they conform to a stereotype about their sex pointed out. This woman would probably not be laughing if she thought she fit the stereotype, and especially not if she had ever made herself vulnerable by explicitly admitting that.
This behavior isn’t exclusive to one sex, but I think it is stereotypically feminine. I (a heterosexual man) usually hear about it when heterosexual men give each other advice, and it’s presented as an irrational thing many women do which the men should learn to accommodate.
The fact that the stereotype exists (and both the man and the woman presumably know that it does) makes me perceive the comment in the OP as mocking or patronizing. The man’s intent could be to offend or perhaps to imply “I’m glad you don’t actually expect treatment like this,” but even that would offend many women. I don’t understand why you or the woman in the OP think it was said in good faith, because it’s something I would say myself only if I wanted to hurt the feelings of the woman I was speaking to so much that I was willing to sound sexist.
The stereotype isn’t that only women ever want sympathy, but rather that women generally want sympathy (rather than help) a lot more than men do, especially in situations where help appears to be fairly straightforward.
I’m going to make my own Boomer-esque gender observation here: people generally don’t like having the fact that they conform to a stereotype about their sex pointed out. This woman would probably not be laughing if she thought she fit the stereotype, and especially not if she had ever made herself vulnerable by explicitly admitting that.
deleted by creator
This behavior isn’t exclusive to one sex, but I think it is stereotypically feminine. I (a heterosexual man) usually hear about it when heterosexual men give each other advice, and it’s presented as an irrational thing many women do which the men should learn to accommodate.
deleted by creator
The fact that the stereotype exists (and both the man and the woman presumably know that it does) makes me perceive the comment in the OP as mocking or patronizing. The man’s intent could be to offend or perhaps to imply “I’m glad you don’t actually expect treatment like this,” but even that would offend many women. I don’t understand why you or the woman in the OP think it was said in good faith, because it’s something I would say myself only if I wanted to hurt the feelings of the woman I was speaking to so much that I was willing to sound sexist.
deleted by creator
What is the stereotype? Men should be allowed to have a feelings stage about stuff that goes wrong.
The stereotype isn’t that only women ever want sympathy, but rather that women generally want sympathy (rather than help) a lot more than men do, especially in situations where help appears to be fairly straightforward.
Are we sure she is laughing about this and not trying to “partner shame” him?