Asking because not only did I suspect my (now former) boss to be like that, there was also a massive meltdown in a specific content creation space where an otherwise extremely kind CC was exposed as… being a bit special. So I thought I should try to get better at spotting ppl like that in order to not burn myself
Edit: Thanks everyone. I guess I didn’t word it correctly but my goal wasn’t to “diagnose” someone. I’m Autistic & am working in a field that allegedly attracts lots of hyper-competitive/toxic ppl, so I want to protect myself. That’s why. I already saw tons of useful comments so
No. You’re not a behavioral health professional. It is unethical to diagnose people from afar with minimal context and no formal education or training.
I am a mental health professional, and I can tell you that even among professionals, personality disorder diagnoses are very controversial. What we call a PD virtually always results from significant early trauma. To me it feels cruel and unhelpful to pathologize our brain’s survival response.
Also, mental health professionals don’t have a monopoly on labeling someone’s behavior. I have no problem with people colloquially using the term “narcissist.” It carries a different weight when I use it in my work, but you don’t need a graduate degree to know what problematic behavior looks like.
I respect your perspective but would also say there’s a stark difference between “is my boss a narcissist” colloquially and “give me a list of cheats to quickly state whether or not someone exhibits ‘the dark triad’/identify a narcissist.” They know their boss’s exhibited behavior, socially respond like anyone else. This feels ways more “help me informally diagnose” than the off handed colloquial “someone is a narcissist.” Otherwise why are they even asking for this info?
Replace “narcissist” with “diabetes” or some other major health condition and you’ll see why it sticks in my craw.
That’s where medical and psychological diagnoses are different. Diabetes has biological markers that we can measure, and DSM disorders mostly* rely on matching behavior patterns to predetermined labels. One clinician might call it narcissistic personality disorder, and another might call it a fear-driven obsession with social acceptance. Which one is correct?
A major issue with the “mental health industrial complex” is that it quickly becomes tautological while appearing objective and empirical. What do we call someone who can’t empathize with others and constantly seeks admiration? NPD. What is NPD? It’s when someone can’t empathize with others and constantly seeks admiration.
I could make up a diagnosis of “greeting disorder” for people who feel compelled to smile and make eye contact when they meet someone. Then I could insist that people who meet these criteria “have” this disorder, but how is that useful?
*I say “mostly” because recent editions of the DSM include, for some reason, diagnoses like narcolepsy which can’t be diagnosed by psychological evaluation, but they can be diagnosed by medical testing.
I don’t disagree with any of this, but I still feel this post is a bad idea and a ton of randos online trying to oblige the request makes it even worse. This isn’t someone getting armed with information, whether we feel the insistence that diagnoses by professionals are a form of gatekeeping or not. This is someone getting opinions to act on from random people in an attempt to faux-diagnose someone they don’t even really know. This isn’t remotely an evidence-based exercise. This is a bad idea. Frankly I can’t be convinced otherwise on that.
I’m not sure OP ist trying to diagnose so much as just define their own boundaries. It’s healthy to know your boundaries and be able to quickly recognize and respond maturely to something that will cross them.
That doesn’t sound at all like what they’re doing. You’re saying what you would be doing most likely.
They are asking how to quickly identify a medical diagnosis that can’t be quickly identified, especially by lay people, so they can act on it. It can’t be done and it’s unethical. They are not a bad person for asking, but carrying it out would be wrong.
I mean, only OP can clarify what they actually meant. I was just sharing my interpretation, which I will say leans heavily on the final “in order to not burn myself” line.
Then why are you trying to clarify for them, especially in such a way that is so far from what they wrote? I am taking them at face value. There isn’t a whole lot to infer here. They are trying to diagnose their boss. It’s irresponsible to support this. This isn’t two buddies sitting at a bar speculating about someone they know.