I’ve noticed that if I say “I won’t do this anymore at all”, it doesn’t work. But if I say “I’ll only spend this much this month on sex workers, gambling, etc.” I’m able to mellow down. I’ve also noticed some people suggest that moderation doesn’t work and you should try to be as cold turkey as possible.
Harm Reduction Therapy models allow for using/drinking. I attended a SMART Recovery meeting once, it was good, there’s a ton of research in this area. Look for a SMART meeting near you, it’s fascinating. And secular!