This comes up a lot, and the comments for these posts always get mired in the complexities of for whom and forwhence and forwhicontext this is good advice.
Basically, there are people for whom this is really fire advice (like people who are unnecessarily repressing quirky aspects of their otherwise lovely personalities), and people for whom this is really bad advice (like people who need to stay hidden for safety, or jerks).
Broad, overlapping categories with many dimensions. Not really something you can wrap up in a prescriptive axiom.
That all said, the thesis of the OP holds up. It may be really hard for some people to find someone who likes them for who they are, and there are people who really should change, but it’s still true that you won’t find many people who like you for you if you don’t actually show them who you are.
This comes up a lot, and the comments for these posts always get mired in the complexities of for whom and forwhence and forwhicontext this is good advice.
Basically, there are people for whom this is really fire advice (like people who are unnecessarily repressing quirky aspects of their otherwise lovely personalities), and people for whom this is really bad advice (like people who need to stay hidden for safety, or jerks).
Broad, overlapping categories with many dimensions. Not really something you can wrap up in a prescriptive axiom.
That all said, the thesis of the OP holds up. It may be really hard for some people to find someone who likes them for who they are, and there are people who really should change, but it’s still true that you won’t find many people who like you for you if you don’t actually show them who you are.