I just want to point out that saying something has the same energy doesn’t imply that it is the same thing in intensity. In fact, often we are hyperbolic to highlight the kind of energy that we are talking about.

The reason why you are getting down voted is also not because of your opinion that these things are different, in intensity or whatever, but because it feels like you really want to make that difference. Why do you care so much about that difference? Why are you defending bad behaviour from being compared to other bad behaviour? Why do you care? Most of people that you called autistic (in a prejorative manner), understand that as you trying to justify that behavior, and the answer to the question of “why would they” is that they understand you as such a person. A person who is acting in a way and is trying to excuse it.

Of course, I don’t claim such a thing but I thought, I would help you to understand this social event in your life, as these can be difficult to understand for some people, e.g. autistic people. I am proud of all the autistic people in this community who understood this interaction, good job! I know it might wasn’t easy for you.