So, like on my last post I said, this guy was very awkward and would always say “Hi, how’s your day?” every day when he saw us or something similar. I guess it was a force of habit, but we got really tired of his awkwardness. He constantly called him annoying, yelled at him, insulted him, my friend even threatened him and treated him like a sub-human monster and told him he wasn’t worthy of being near us. We made him cry multiple times and even contemplate suicide. It was BAD. He was angry at us for a while, but I DID apologize, so that’s good.

Now, I’ve been thinking. This guy and I are friends now, and I deeply regret my actions.

  • N0t_5ure@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    1 month ago

    It’s good to see that you regret your actions. So many people never give it another thought. You’ve grown from your experience, and that is a very rare and positive sign. You should understand that humans are social creatures, and who you surround yourself with can have a tremendous impact on how you behave. Social validation is an incredibly powerful thing, and can be used to manipulate people. I’ve had the misfortune of having been raised by narcissists, and as a consequence had weak boundaries and allowed a lot of corrupt, manipulative people into my life, including my ex-wife, who I now recognize was a covert narcissist with psychopathic tendencies. I have reason to believe that she organized a mobbing campaign against me calculated to drive me to suicide in order to collect on a $2 million life insurance policy that was doubled without my knowledge or consent. I was destroyed personally, professionally, and financially, and am now estranged from literally everyone from my former life, who were all drawn into the “game”. This includes my parents, my siblings, my former friends and even my children. I was left with complex PTSD, very poor health, suicidal ideation, no means of financial support, no social network whatsoever, and an ongoing campaign of stalking and harassment calculated to keep me isolated and in despair. I’m about 6 years past the hard fracture that smashed my old life, and finally gotten to the point where I’m reemerging socially and cautiously engaging with people. Not one of the participants in the abuse has apologized, and on the rare occasions that I do engage with them I can expect gaslighting. A large part of my healing journey has involved just figuring out what happened, how it happened, and why it happened, so I can improve and do better in the future. What I can say from my personal experience, is that you are not a bad person, and in all likelihood the “friend” or “friends” surrounding you created an environment to turn you against your awkward friend. Don’t be too hard on yourself, as your regret, acknowledgment, and apology puts you in the top 1%, as very few people are capable of the emotional growth necessary to bear the shame necessary to recognize and correct such behavior. I wish at least one of those from my past had such courage. Your post made my day. Thank you.