Some background: Me - Late 50s male. Happily married.
My doctor: Ophthamologist. Attractive woman. 30-ish. Happily married.
Side note: I accidentally ran into her and her husband at a party about a month ago. Nice lady.
So, I went into her office yesterday morning for an appointment. When she came in the room, I noticed that her zipper was “XYZ” and her fly was totally open. Gaping open and pretty distracting. So, I try to make friendly conversation, eyes up.
As part of her job, she’s straddling the chair and equipment as she’s examining my eyes. Awkward. Continue eyes up!
I thought about mentioning “XYZ” to her, but didn’t want to come across as a creepy old guy that’s hitting on her. I didn’t want to embarrass her. So, in the end, I didn’t say anything, and she left.
So, is it better to say something, or not? I think she probably figured it out next time she went to the bathroom.
I’m curious what the female / non-binary version of this is, because being distracted by someone’s attractiveness in an inappropriate context and trying to navigate the situation and/or think about something more appropriate is relatable to me.
One thing that has helped me is, “the thoughts that enter your mind come from all over: society, media, your experiences, etc. You have to process a lot, and not all of it is nice. So don’t judge yourself based on the content of your thoughts, but on how you choose to act.”
This is the difference between responsible societies and victim-blaming ones.
Talking about this is almost impossible in person though. How do you tell somebody that you have thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable with yourself, and would like to have them less? Therapy is only 1 hour a week…