I see where this is coming from but to expect parents will keep an even mood, every day, no matter what, is just ridiculous.
Of course it is important kids know it is not their responsibility but this meme/tweet/post makes it look like a worried parent that speaks less than usual during dinner is basically being emotionally abusive
I think it sets that up with the first sentence, that this isn’t every household. This doesn’t describe my childhood, but it does describe my wife’s, where the abusers’ moods were a matter of safety. She still struggles with people pleasing, which served her then, but doesn’t so much anymore
yes, this is why I said “I see where this is coming from” but I still find the framing completely irresponsible
I participate heavily in pretty much every aspect of my house (I am just more of a “high energy” person compared with my wife) Sometimes, I feel down and do get quiet. If my kids (grown already) noticed and tried to cheer me up, I would take that as an incredible sign of love and affection as it is a sign of emotional maturity from them as well as a healthy display of empathy.
What is described in this post, seems to me a normal household where humans, not robots, live.
Completely different story about parents whose mood swings go from loving to beaters, for example… but again, the wording of the post frames very normal human behaviour as abusive
What? it is 1000% not about me. The examples I gave from my life were an attempt to show how this post would fit even in a benign, emotionally healthy household… and therefore possibly paint it as abusive
For the last time (I have written this about 9 times by now) I did understand the post, I know exactly what they meant because, as other have pointed out, when you have lived it you recognize it.
My problem is that is so poorly written, I think vulnerable people may misconstrue it and wind up painting their parents as abusive when they are not… or, perhaps worse, paint empathy as a bad thing (which is a fashionable thing to do from all the toxic alpha male influencers nowadays)
If it just someone happens once in a while then most kids might not even notice something is up. A kid in an household where it happens often will know it. A kid in an abusive household will be terrified and will try to mitigate it.
I once again repeat, I understand what the post was going for, I am just complaining it is very poorly written and fear people would attribute abuse to family members that are not abusive in anyway
I see where this is coming from but to expect parents will keep an even mood, every day, no matter what, is just ridiculous.
Of course it is important kids know it is not their responsibility but this meme/tweet/post makes it look like a worried parent that speaks less than usual during dinner is basically being emotionally abusive
I think it sets that up with the first sentence, that this isn’t every household. This doesn’t describe my childhood, but it does describe my wife’s, where the abusers’ moods were a matter of safety. She still struggles with people pleasing, which served her then, but doesn’t so much anymore
yes, this is why I said “I see where this is coming from” but I still find the framing completely irresponsible
I participate heavily in pretty much every aspect of my house (I am just more of a “high energy” person compared with my wife) Sometimes, I feel down and do get quiet. If my kids (grown already) noticed and tried to cheer me up, I would take that as an incredible sign of love and affection as it is a sign of emotional maturity from them as well as a healthy display of empathy.
What is described in this post, seems to me a normal household where humans, not robots, live.
Completely different story about parents whose mood swings go from loving to beaters, for example… but again, the wording of the post frames very normal human behaviour as abusive
The tone of the post implies an abusive environment. Especially the last sentence.
That’s my point. They insinuate an abusive environment but then lay out a perfectly normal one.
It’s like implying anyone who has a zip of beer is a ranging violent alcoholic
Not everything has to be about you. See all the other posts on this thread and accept it resonates with their experiences.
What? it is 1000% not about me. The examples I gave from my life were an attempt to show how this post would fit even in a benign, emotionally healthy household… and therefore possibly paint it as abusive
For the last time (I have written this about 9 times by now) I did understand the post, I know exactly what they meant because, as other have pointed out, when you have lived it you recognize it.
My problem is that is so poorly written, I think vulnerable people may misconstrue it and wind up painting their parents as abusive when they are not… or, perhaps worse, paint empathy as a bad thing (which is a fashionable thing to do from all the toxic alpha male influencers nowadays)
If it just someone happens once in a while then most kids might not even notice something is up. A kid in an household where it happens often will know it. A kid in an abusive household will be terrified and will try to mitigate it.
Yup. It’s not “oh dad is passively quiet” it’s “oh he’s actively quiet and a plate might go flying if anyone sets him off”
I once again repeat, I understand what the post was going for, I am just complaining it is very poorly written and fear people would attribute abuse to family members that are not abusive in anyway