So today was meant to be the day was gonna invite a group of people to a small gathering at my house. I made a silly website that’d show all the info and i’d go around personally inviting them.
I think they just liked the idea of being invited more than the event itself. I had around 10 people explicitly tell to my face that they were coming.
Noone followed through.
I probably fucked up somewhere in the process but it hurts nonetheless; It was the first event I had organized for a group. I wanted to share my world with the people around me. I wanted to showcase my dogs and my garden.
At least i’ve learned something, I got to cook some meat for my family. But damn, this feels isolating.


Well I’ll just bring you right down to Earth then and mention that this was after having a brain tumor at age 10. Her friends were there with chirpy, “I hope you feel better” crap but none of them actually showed up for anything - pretty much the polar opposite of the inspring stories where all the kids in the class shave their heads to support the cancer kid. Didn’t happen - and she had been super popular before, not the “mean girl” type at all - if anything she’s the opposite of that. All I’ve ever been able to figure is that the kids were just freaked out or something. But yeah, the 16th birthday party was probably one of the LEAST disappointments she’s lived through, all things considered. So if you’re going to spend energy fearing for your kids, cancer or something similar is really the place to go.