• ButteryMonkey@piefed.social
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    22 days ago

    I ‘flirt’ because dudes assume thats what I’m doing when I’m just having a conversation, and panic when they treat it like flirting. Because it isn’t, ever, I’m ace/aro, keep your dick in your pants; I just like human connection.

    But I’m also a chick magnet and I can’t explain that away with basic human decency…? I guess I give off vibes? I mean ladies are 1,000,000 more appealing than men, but I still don’t want to sex them (tried both, meh)

    • velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      21 days ago

      Haha it’s probably because you like human connection first over sex. That’s why you’re a chick magnet.

          • ButteryMonkey@piefed.social
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            21 days ago

            Gross.

            I’m not.

            Horniness sounds like a massive burden, and romantic relationships are just friendships with touchy-feely stuff and lots of baggage I’m not into.

            • Viceversa@lemmy.world
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              21 days ago

              I will elaborate on my position: horniness and romantics are options to enjoy life.
              And when someone is deprived of some of the options life gives, it is sad for me.

              • ButteryMonkey@piefed.social
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                21 days ago

                Thats not better.

                Just because I’m not into what you are into doesn’t mean my life is lacking. You like chocolate, I don’t like sweets much at all but if I have to choose a flavor, I like the taste of un-flavored foods as much as I like a strong curry.

                Same thing. You see my life as lacking because of what you think I should like based on what you like, but it’s plenty rich in ways that actually speak to what I like.

                • MaxMalRichtig@discuss.tchncs.de
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                  21 days ago

                  You see my life as lacking […] based on what you like

                  I think that is exactly the case here. People just can’t comprehend how a life other than their own would look like.

                  I guess that also falls under the Dunning Kruger Effect?

                  • Viceversa@lemmy.world
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                    21 days ago

                    I think that is exactly the case here. People just can’t comprehend how a life other than their own would look like.

                    Oh, I can.
                    For years I had severe clinical depression and it rendered me incapable of feeling almost anything towards my SO, friends and relatives.
                    It was… I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

                    Now medication at last is working and it’s like chalk and cheese.

                  • Sustolic@lemmy.world
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                    21 days ago

                    Well to be honest I believe if I was given the option to not be weighed down by such feelings then I would take it.

                    Really would make it easier to make genuine connections with people without my subconscious doing some funky shit.

                    Now I could be wrong and I am assuming of course but I feel like a lot of those (not all) who are free from such urges prefer it that way and even if given the option to feel those things they wouldn’t take it.

                  • ButteryMonkey@piefed.social
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                    21 days ago

                    Do you bother blind people about how they could experience the world if they were sighted, too?

                    Like its a moot point, idk what you hope to gain here other than being a dick about how your way is better when I have no way to ever know, and you can never see my point of view either.

              • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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                20 days ago

                This person is not deprived of romantic relationships; they’re there if they chose to pursue them. They choose not to as they do not derive enjoyment from them. Do not feel sad, be happy they know themselves better than most.

                • Viceversa@lemmy.world
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                  20 days ago

                  They choose not to

                  What I’ve derived from their answer is that they are incapable of sexual or romantic feelings. Hence they call themselves aromantic / asexual.

                  But if they’re capable and it’s their conscious decision to be aro / asex - then it’s another story.

                  • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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                    20 days ago

                    I mean, if you want to get into it sure. But at the end of the day, different people like different things and we all live different lives. It’s not a reason to feel sad for someone. It’s not like they resent their lack of sexual or romantic feelings, that’s just how they are.

            • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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              21 days ago

              Its both a burden and exhilerating.

              In one way its like nagging hunger you have to feed, or don’t feed and are bothered by the hunger. But its also feels amazing like being hyper alert and biochemicals flowing, and if you eat its like a super tasty meal you can still savor later.