• ruckblack@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    47
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    This is the second TIL about obscure incel information posted by this account in the past few days. What’s with the incel research, Don?

    • Don_Dickle@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      2 months ago

      As a woman i was wondering about the root causes of it and if it can be stopped because I have a feeling that some Incels will take out their hate for women on a woman.

      • xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        2 months ago

        IMO, The best way to stop it would be to find ways for men to stop being attracted to women and desiring a romantic/sexual relationship. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be much research around that.

          • xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            2 months ago

            It is often said that “facts don’t care about feelings”, unfortunately, the reverse is also true: feelings don’t care about facts. I rationally know that I should respect women’s rights to not have undesirable men be attracted to them, but I still feel the attraction and don’t know how to deal with it.

            • Decoy321@lemmy.worldM
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              2 months ago

              Fair point, but there is a simple solution. Learn how to deal with it. Learn self control. Let that rational part of your mind do the driving.

              • xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                2 months ago

                Do you have any resources on that? All the ones I’ve found suggest that feelings of attraction are hard-wired into the brain and getting rid of them is impossible.

                • Decoy321@lemmy.worldM
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  ·
                  2 months ago

                  I’m not saying to get rid of them, I’m saying to exercise self control so you don’t act on them. I dunno about resources on that, my dude. It’s just kind of a necessity to be a responsible adult.

                  • xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    2 months ago

                    If by “acting on them” you mean staring, catcalling, asking out, etc. I’m already trying my best to not do that. I’d say I’m quite successful at it, though in crowded spaces it’s often difficult to find a direction to look in that doesn’t contain a woman. And my mom sometimes tells me that I should look at and approach women, so there’s social pressure too.

                    However, what draws people to incel spaces is the sadness that comes from seeing couples in public or among your friends and knowing that you’ll never experience what they’re doing. Unless I’m misunderstanding, I don’t think what you’re suggesting helps with that.