Beth

My posting hours are evenings, and visits to the bathroom. Occasionally a slow weekend.

I see you’ve got the standard warthogs handling experience.

I’ll join!

Johnny booth

I’ve seen just a handful of “I know it’s a comment chain from Reddit, but….” posts.

1. Buy the house for my kids I’ve been saving for
2. Set us all a reasonable allowance and a rainy day fund so we never have to worry
3. Find a way to donate the majority to underserved families of children with disabilities

1. Your ability to get sexualized/ male attention does not make you more or less of a woman, more or less beautiful, or more or less worthy. Simply put, take them out of the equation of your self-worth. Small or big, you’ve got what you’ve got. And a lot of us struggle with feelings about this.

2. Your ability to engage in domestic chores does not make your more or less of a woman. I can understand from the perspective of wanting to help out with chores but household tasks are not “women jobs” by default although a lot of people are raised to think this way. I honestly don’t trust anyone with my happiness if they pretend like they can’t do domestic work.

3. This one is so hard. Mother/daughter relationships have the same issues a lot of our relationships have except many of us always want our mothers no matter how they may make us feel or whether what they want for us is objectively good. Don’t feel like this being hard is a reflection of you, a lot of people genuinely struggle with this one.

4. Make-up is another one of those things that doesn’t make you a woman. A lot of what your see online is super high maintenance stuff. Most people were minimal makeup. Many of us don’t wear it every day. If you’re chasing beauty standards of people you see online you will probably always be knocking yourself. Between filters and heavy makeup and most of this stuff is fake.

I tried to go point by point of your thoughts here. But my main takeaway is I hope you can come to a point where you realize external things don’t make you a woman. You are a woman. Lack of third party validation doesn’t change that. Being sexualized doesn’t change that. Being a good homemaker doesn’t change that. Personally I would fail 3/4 of your points here.

Mom here.

Plan B: Yes …and…!

Go to the health dept/gyno and get tested. If you haven’t had an HPV vaccine you’ve also been exposed (and exposing others). HPV can cause cancer, which develops slowly with no symptoms. Make sure you get routine paps. Get on birth control, ASAP.

And yes I’d say you have things to process, being as you’re doing this knowing it will feel bad and scary later. Therapy is expensive and all, but I’d look into why you might do things to yourself that are clearly self-sabotaging.

Feel free to send a DM.

Realized I’d dropped a cup and band size and that’s why my bras all felt terrible. New bras yay! My wallet cries, but it feels nice?

Watching people make connections.

It’s already been working like garbage lately. Wonder if this is related.

Not me, I’m into middle aged bears.

I like talking to real people. To me that’s a benefit.

Reddit also feels like it’s gotten less friendly to me as a woman. That’s just been my personal feeling.

Here’s what I do: I work in a field where it’s never ending. Yesterday four people were looking for me while I had a priority. I focused on my priority and I directed them to remote ways to contact me. I put them on my calendar. I have 3 spreadsheets regarding different things to do this month, week, daily. I do my daily priorities and chip away at the spreadsheets in downtime. I never finish. I also don’t think about it for a single second after I leave the building, and I also don’t feel bad. The reason for this is being a human being, only one person, and it can wait but enjoyment and rest will not. YOLO.

I really don’t. I feel like what I consume and enjoy is a reflection of me.

“Roflmao” :(

Also: cool beans

I think your brain would have to rewire and maybe some heavy therapy but idk.

Just being comfortable and peaceful when nothing is evidently wrong. People taking things for granted bothers me because I can’t. Permanent fight or flight.

I’ve had a couple interactions that left me feeling pretty meh. Idk.

Double warm socks, burrito blankets, only the head sticks out because non-existent monsters can’t get you if you can see them.