Visual Sauce Safe, for us oldheads.

which famously can vary by 4 orders of magnitude

That’s why “Hiroshima” is now a unit. We’re lucky “Tsar Bomba” isn’t.

Lol at the $35,000. My brother’s cancer drug (which is luckily funded by his insurance at the moment – the same insurance company that balked at paying for an MRI of his brain while he had a six-week long migraine and was unable to walk) costs $40,000 a month.

No, I literally drive a school bus. I like the gig, but as a manager he is making something like eight times what I make (and probably a lot more than that).

I had a boss who had a net worth around $10 million (I knew because he had hired me to trade S&P500 futures for him and he gave me access to his brokerage accounts as part of this). He owned a house, nice cars, and a temp agency that gave him an income around $25,000 per month, in a southern city where the cost of living was very low. By any normal standard he was living in the lap of luxury, but his best friends were all west coast vulture capitalists who were worth hundreds of millions and my boss’ jealousy of them just absolutely ate him up inside (this was the whole reason he was getting into futures trading in the first place).

Also, a lot of them like to rape children, and that shit can get pretty expensive.

Lol we were all laid off. He’s now a manager at Comcast and I drive a school bus.

I’m currently reviving a personal iOS project that I last worked on almost 10 years ago. At the time, I was working under a (much younger) tech lead who was a firm advocate of the “all comments are bad” philosophy and reported me to management as being technically incompetent because I commented my code. Thank god I’m technically incompetent because there’s no fucking way I could be making any sense of my 10-year-old code without those comments.

Somebody here is probably going to reply that nobody literally thinks all comments are bad, but I assure that you such people do exist in this profession.

I read War and Peace a couple of years ago for the first time to see what all the fuss was about. There’s a scene where one of the characters is hunting with his prize borzoi and mentions that he paid a family of serfs for the dog. He didn’t give the family money for the dog – he gave the family in exchange for the dog. Imagine being the serf family and having to move to a new shitty estate for that.

It’s fun to pretend that Tsarist Russia was the last place that still had serfs (until 1861) but that is unfortunately not the case.

Lol I haven’t coded on paper first since I started programming … in the '70s on my friend’s Commodore-20.

All Carts Are Bastards

Where are the three rocks?

He should probably have done more coke for his Dune appearance.

I think they mainly do cash only because fuck paying taxes.

I was fine with mentoring junior developers until my manager decided pair programming was the way to go. I’m happy to help and teach, but like fuck am I going to sit at the same goddamn computer with some maroon all day. Can’t even power-nap properly.

Yeah, I always get them mixed up. Them garlic bullets don’t do shit anyway.

Whillikers! It’s so big.

I know, right? Fucking vampires.

I wrote mobile apps for Blackberry back in the day. As part of their security fixation, all library modules you incorporated had to be signed as your app was compiling, even if you were just testing out a single line change. This could make your app take upwards of a whole hour to sign, if the signing servers were even up and running at all; they were often down completely which meant I could go home and get high instead of working. Which is why I never badmouthed Blackberry to my bosses.

The absurdity of having every module signed meant that I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to use built-in library functionality or just roll my own code. For one UI I needed to use trigonometry functions. These were located (logically or not) in one of the encryption modules which were especially prone to taking a long time to sign, so I ended up writing my own sin()function (in Java) just to save myself ten minutes of compilation time.

They’re making so much money that they’re still opening Starbuckses across the street from Startbuckses. Make it make sense.