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Cake day: April 24th, 2024

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  • Granted I was an almost constant user, I maintained a “high” basically from when I woke up until I went to bed at night. It was def a form of self medication, it did help with a lot of ADHD symptoms because rather than getting lazy I would get hyped and very active. Used it that way basically from a little before covid, all through covid, until November of last year. It did affect my work performance, looking back, but I interviewed for that job high, I went to work high most of the time, still got good reviews, raises and a promotion. I was addicted or dependent or whatever term you want to use. But like high functioning I guess.

    But in November I crashed hard. Had a complete psychotic break. I thought the government was using 5g to beam mind control beams, an array of numbers containing hidden brainwashing instructions, to make me believe I was this person, when really I was a fake, an android put into this life to do their bidding, they killed the real me and I was the replacement, and this happened all the time, I just happened to pick up on one of their transmissions.

    I’m a rational guy, I don’t know where this shit came from. I have pages in my notebook documenting it. Luckily my wife is amazing and I was kind of able to talk myself out of it enough to have her convince me and remind me of what was real. Since then I had to quit. I def got some intelligence points back. And I haven’t had any more episodes. But damn that scared the shit out of me. I didn’t even know it was possible.




  • What I have thanks to money, what i pay for, i.e, what money can buy, that is what I, the possessor of the money, am myself. My power is as great as the power of money. The properties of money are my- (its owner’s)- properties and faculties. Thus what I am and what I am capable of is by no means determined by my individuality. I am ugly, but I can buy myself the most beautiful women. Consequently, I am not ugly, for the effect of ugliness, its power of repulsion, is annulled by money. As an individual I am lame, but money can create twenty four feet for me; so I am not lame; I am wicked, dishonest man without conscience or intellect, but money is honored and so also is its possessor. Money is the highest good and so its possessor is good. Money relieves me of the trouble of being dishonest, so I am presumed to be honest. I may have no intellect, but money is the true mind of all things and so how should its possessor have no intellect? Morever he can buy himself intellectuals, and is not the man who has power over intellectuals not more of [an] intellectual than they?

    –Marx, 1844 Manuscripts





  • I think so. I’m kind and caring, I have really great friends who wouldn’t be if I wasn’t also a genuinely good person.

    I haven’t always been but I always tried to be. For a long time I was really chaotic and had some personal issues that made it hard for me to like actually follow through with it. But I worked on myself a lot and I continue to. I still fuck up and I’m sure there’s people who think I’m a dick. But for the most part I’m a nice, kind person




  • Read Socialism: Utopian and Scientific by Friedrich Engels. The quickest way to actually understand Capitalism is to work toward reading Marx’s Capital with a group and other references. It might take a while to get there but this book by Engels will lay the groundwork for you to learn historical materialism and dialectical reasoning.

    For Communism, read principles of Communism and the communist manifesto. But start with Socialism: Utopian & Scientific. Since communism hasn’t ever existed, there have been communist groups and parties who may or may not have established different variations of socialism, there’s nothing to study. You can study the history of communist parties and experiments, but there is a lot and much of it is sad or disappointing. Definitely learn about it, but its not where you should start.

    Communism is a moneyless, stateless, classless society. Its a movement, something to work toward. It is not a system where the government owns everything. It isn’t “authoritarianism”. Its the opposite of those things.