This is the funniest shit I’ve seen on here in a long time

I appreciate how chill the handyman is about the whole situation

I host an ever growing system in the cloud. Everything you build needs to be maintained and monitored, and the more users you have, the more features they demand.

You can still spread cost out across more users, but it’s not like the software is just “done” and sits there being used

No, no, like this:

// Well, fuck.

Yup I live across the street from a K-8 school. It floors me how the parents of these kids drive like maniacs right by the school where their own child and all their classmates go to school. If there where ANYwhere you’d think a parent of a young child would slow the fuck down it’d be by their kids school.

The best Git Commit message I’ve ever seen was for like 35 files and a few hundred lines and it just said “Please work”

I did something like this once. I was meeting a friend at a bar and she was with another guy I never met. I had just moved back to the US from Germany, so she introduced me and said “he just moved here from Germany,” not realizing that it wasn’t clear I was American. So he starts asking me how I like it here etc, and I threw on a German accent and went with it (I speak some German too). I pretended that my English was a bit rough but could get by.

We hung out for like two hours and then when I got ready to leave I dropped the accent and said in my normal Midwestern American voice “Ok cool to hang with you bro imma head out,” and left.

Women are so we are going back home now to see what happens in a little while but we are you and I are on our side and the other one of us will have a great day and I am not a good one of those 7.

Aw but that sucks if you get pregnant in August or September

I do this too. Then I discovered spindrifts and find them fucking delicious, so I started making my own spindrift at home by squeezing fresh lemons or limes into a cup before filling with homemade soda water.

I haven’t actually done the math but I think this system is more economical than bulk-buying cans of spindrift

Buddy, I’ve been posting things I find on Lemmy for 2+ years. It’s all I post and I still haven’t made a repost so I doubt it’s happening.

Less cops

Fewer racism

Very better society

Wow!

Haha I’m saving this image

Get a second bishop in there and use il vaticano to capture the queen

Haha I love how it has four reviews/3.3 stars

I have a kid and I feel this way.

To be clear, I absolutely love my son and I’m glad I have him. But I also still feel like if I had decided not to have kids, I’d have been fine with it.

It’s a different framing now though, of “Do you want a kid”, in the hypothetical, vs. “Would you be ok if you didn’t have [Insert your kid’s name here].” I’d be devastated if my son were not in my life. But I think I’d have been fine if I chose not to have a kid.

Yes.

Haha I’ve lived there for almost a year between two stints and had a lot of free time for one of them so seemed like a fun thing to learn.

It very occasionally has been helpful traveling in more rural Germany speaking areas

Ah cool, danke! Immer nett zu hören, dass jemand meine Versuche schätzt.

I’m an American who speaks decent German. I’ve gotten this flak traveling in non-German speaking Europe - Stupid American only speaking English attitude thrown my way. Mother fucker I’m in France, a German would also be using English here. To some people the only way to not be “that American” is to speak all the languages.

On the flip side, I’ve had a few Germans ask me why I bothered learning their language when I could just use English.