You described it perfectly! I resonate so much with the feeling of the sun on your skin. When I visualise myself in a peaceful place, I imagine myself running through a field of tall grass with the sun’s warmth on my skin.

If you don’t mind me asking, how come you stopped taking them? I’m asking because I can’t imagine my life without them now that I’ve learned of the difference they make. I’ve tried grounding techniques and journalling but they never helped quite as much as the medication did, so I can’t rely on those methods.

SSRIs. I already knew this was likely going to be my conclusion, but I really wish I started the treatment sooner. So many years feeling incompetent and damaged! Months of school missed, almost getting expelled, turning down invites, awkward friendship moments, scared of my own shadow… Anxiety is mentally brutal. It’s not just being scared or exaggerating, it’s a very real struggle that can destroy your social life – which is needed to live a healthy and prosperous life. I spent so many days unable to get myself out of bed because anything outside of that area seemed like a threat.

I started SSRIs 8 months ago. I can’t say it’s been perfect, but that’s not what I’m aiming for. Some periods are tougher than others, but I’m so grateful I’m at a state where I actually feel like I’m living – not a shell of a person. I’m not self-sabotaging myself as much as I used to, and I’m gaining more and more independence and confidence in my daily life. I’m finally able to say that I’m happy and motivated.

I’m sure that therapy will help resolve some of my childhood trauma, so I’m looking forward to that, but I want to go into the sessions with a clear mind. Without the medication, I wouldn’t be able to process and live by my psychologist’s advice. I’m extremely grateful to have found a treatment that works!

Are we sure he’s not still injured from being dragged a while ago?

Got a negative report because some students were being loud in the corridor before the teacher came in. I (and a few others) were doing my homework, but the entire class got punished 🙃 If I had more courage back then, I would have marched straight to the assistant head’s office and refused to get it signed by my mum. It was only 5 points, but I hate when quiet people minding their own business get unfairly blamed because they happened to be in the same group as those causing chaos.

Yoghurt (plain is ideal but I like a little bit of vanilla), nuts, rice cakes, homemade dried fruit oat bars, apples, and homemade protein bars.

Oh how I miss that 💔 Mine passed away two years ago, and I used to love it whenever we slept next to each other. Sometimes, mine even liked to rest on my pillow like a human. I keep having this recurrent dream about her mysteriously coming back to life (which is funny because her remains are ash) and it breaks my heart every time when I wake up. I know that you already do, but please cherish these moments with everything that you’ve got! Observe as many details as you can like the facial features, the size, the ears, the softness of the fur… One of my many fears is that I’ll forget what my dog looked like and felt like.

Sorry if this is melancholy, but I just had one of those dreams last night and your comment moved me.

I just woke up so I’ll talk about yesterday. I made a very solid self-development plan for 2026 and I feel proud of it. I have general anxiety so I tend to overthink and overcomplicate things, but I think I kept it as minimal and realistic as possible. I’m trying to focus on progress over perfection, so I feel relieved not to have the pressure to be “done” by the end of every month. I’m mainly doing this because it helps to know what comes next and that I’m waking up every day with a plan. Otherwise, I get overwhelmed with what to do and experience executive dysfunction. So I’m happy that I took some time for myself, reflected deeply, and invested in my future :)

I thought the kitten was a sticker

This cat seems young and playful so I might try playing with a toy. I love it whenever I catch the cat burying its poop 🤣 I also heard some feisty screams with my other neighbour’s cat so I know that there’s some drama going on haha

That’s true. I’ve been very tempted to feed it a few scraps of food (like breadcrumbs or leftover canned tuna), but I know some animals don’t respond well to some food and I’m not used to cats yet. I had a dog so I know not to feed dogs any chocolate, grapes, or nuts, but all I know is that [most] cats can eat tuna so I didn’t want to risk potentially making my neighbour’s cat sick, or worse.

I have been researching animal sanctuaries to start the process of getting a cat though, so eventually I’ll have some actual cat food. Maybe then I’ll try to feed this one a few bites, but I think I’ll ask the neighbour first because I don’t know if this cat is allergic to a specific ingredient or anything.

I did because I know that some cats prefer it if you wait until they get comfortable with you and that cats are really the ones who decide if you’re friends, not you. We’ve gotten as close as getting a few sniffs of my hand. Whenever I open the door, the cat happily comes inside. Lately, I’ve been leaving the door open and letting the cat roam about. It’s usually just a quick routine exploration from the kitchen to the bedroom and then the bathroom before it quickly leaves. It lasts maybe 5 minutes, but I’m just happy I get a visit. I noticed the cat is very interested in my bathroom window, which leads to the same yard it comes from but there’s a bush right underneath so it can’t jump. I once found muddy fingerprints on my bathroom sink and it felt so wholesome 🥹

My neighbour’s cat sometimes sneaks into my apartment. It has explored pretty much every inch of the apartment, including the bathroom sink, under the sofa, under my bed, the kitchen counters, the shower… but it still wouldn’t let me anywhere near it. Sometimes I let my main door open just for the cat. I’m hoping one day we’ll form some sort of bond and I’ll be able to give some pets. I’ve never owned a cat before but this one made me desperate to get one.

(I’m referring to the cat as “it” because I don’t know the sex)

Me with IBS-M, PCOS, possible autism (getting tested), keratosis pilaris, ultra-sensitive skin that itches endlessly, general anxiety disorder, horrid hair shedding, asthma, vitamin D deficiency, and vitamin C sensitivity 🙃

I’m only 24, I don’t want to find out what’s coming. Depression, diabetes, and arthritis run in my family so I already know I could develop those…

That’s true but we used to watch fireworks from nearby towns so I don’t think we were ever really close enough to be in danger. I’d say we were at least 4km away. I just perceived big = close in my little child eyes.

That big fireworks from far away could somehow land on my family’s car and burn us to death. Brought to me by my older sister trying to scare me at the age of 7 🙃

That the moon was moving and following us when we were driving.

That going to the bathroom at a neighbour’s house was rude and that I had to hold it in until we got home. I vividly remember this one time I was sitting on my mum’s lap. She talked for hours and I couldn’t hold it anymore, but I also was embarrassed to tell her I needed to go home, so I ended up urinating on myself. I still didn’t tell anyone until my mum felt her legs warm and wet. I still hate using any toilet that isn’t mine but I at least do what I need to do now.

I recently lost my aunt and uncle. I didn’t know them very well because they lived in Australia, but we were close. My aunt died suddenly of a heart attack last summer and my uncle passed away from cancer on Christmas evening.

The emotions come and go. Sometimes I feel like crying because I miss them and feel sad that I’m not only never going to see them again, but I’ve also reached that age in life where the people that I’ve known since childhood start to die one by one. Other times I feel completely fine, but then I feel guilty for not even thinking about them. I recently went through the birthday cards that I received throughout my life and I saw one from them and I had very mixed emotions.

Other than them, the only real loss I’ve ever had was my dog. With both, it helps a lot to talk about them ***with the right people. *** It keeps their soul alive and it makes me feel close to them again. I also now try to keep as much memorabilia as I can of the people who are still around. One of my biggest fears is losing my memory of them. Be careful though; know when it’s time to step aside and think of something else.