A couple from a co-worker:

If you don’t have time to do it correctly now, what makes you think you will have time to fix it later.

Remember, you are not stuck in traffic, you are traffic.

And a couple from my grandmother:

Don’t study drunk, but if you do at least be a little tipsy when you take the test.

Don’t do anything to your car to make it stand it to the police.

I used to have a pre-filled salt grinder that said “freshly ground for fresher taste”. I always thought “you don’t understand how rocks work” whenever I would read it.

Kash Patel looks like he just threw up in his mouth.

My standard is a mix of plain Greek yogurt and plain “American?” yogurt with hemp, chia, and flax seeds, cinnamon toast crunch, and wheat checks all mixed together. A lot of times I will also do a banana, spinach, ginger, and tumeric protein smoothie.

In case you were still wondering it is a Schlage Everest core.

I work at hight and one of my secrets is that I am afraid of heights, I am just really good at turning off the part of my brain that says what I’m doing is a terrible idea.