I was a late bloomer and I still feel like my brief brush with religion in my late teens and early twenties crippled my social skills for over a decade. Having said that, I managed to have a few awkward dates here and there and fewer still became relationships. Something they don’t tell you is that 80-90% of dates are awkward and terrible, but for many people including myself, when it clicks, it clicks.
I knew a woman at work once. I always stay very professional at work but I am friendly and nice to people. One day we were doing some bullshit paperwork and had a really good conversation and at some point when we were smiling and laughing I felt the vibes. We got a beer with friends after work. A few weeks later she got fired for some stupid shit but we stayed friends and dated for a month or two after. In this instance dating was primarily fun and adventurous. Getting to known each other etc. Bonus points because she had a cool roommate and her ex who came by for the kiddo once in a while was a cool too.
Another women I dated was already a longtime friend of mine. She went away to college and I saw her rarely for years. When she moved back, I invited her to hang out and we hit it off. We had a lot of fun and I felt the attraction, so I asked her out on a date. Because we had such a strong friendship beforehand, dating her felt like hanging out with my best friend, but more romantic.
For me, the thing that changes it from friend hangout to a date is:
- Intention, everyone has to know it is a date.
- A date typically has some hint of a potential romantic and or sexual interest, even if it’s subtle, not stated overtly, or vague. Having said that, it’s better to be bold and clear. When I first started dating I used to go in slow for the kiss when the vibes were right. I never misread the vibes too badly, but it’s 2024, so now I always get verbal consent before I even kiss someone. I was honestly surprised at how often “I would like to kiss you,” or “would you like to kiss me” gets a yes. If you get a no, most people are thankful to have been asked and that somewhat counteracts any awkwardness from being shut down.
Can you imagine being paid for your work in digital jewels and rubies? It’s not there yet, but were getting closer and closer to being a modern day Tennessee Ernie Ford, paid in scrip and buying everything at the company store.