So I did the math. A 30 year fixed and a 50 year fixed have a monthly payment difference of $1.

What the absolute fuck.

I think he’s kidding.

I hope.

God fuck this timeline, I can’t tell either now.

That’s actually a great point that I did overlook.

Of course. It all makes perfect sense.

You know, this really has me pondering my projects architecture. We have tiers of services.

At the top, we have the UI. Then we have a “consumer” an “orchestra” and a “data” tier.

Data is the tier that exclusively talks to databases. Orchestra talks to the multiple data services. A good chunk of business logic is here. Consumer uses the orchestra and handles UI requests.

All it essentially does is split the monolith into 3 services at minimum. And since it’s on the cloud, there’s a start up cost where we need to spin up 3 machines instead of whatever you can do with microservices. What benefit do I get?

Are you proposing the government drones that we haven’t been seeing are spreading weaponized drone flu, or that they have a slowed production until the spring because they are planning something much bigger?

Pidgeons. Geese. I haven’t seen a raven, or owl, or most song birds.

It’s almost like… They aren’t real 👀

I don’t pay attention to be honest. But now I might

Oh. Well I’m not gonna be out that long.

I hope.

Uhoh. It really depends on how well I do and it is not well so far.

I’m doing some particularly frequent therapy at the moment. Medication management, occupational stuff.

So far I’ve only met one person on the apps. So I’m working on finding stuff to go to to meet more people. It’s a small city, so kind of limited. Can’t move because of a kid. That makes it way harder to date too.

But one thing I’m trying to remind myself - I’ll be in my 40s when my son is 18. I figure I can probably really safely leave him at home way before that. So maybe in 5 years or so. I had a teacher in his 50’s marry another teacher in her late 20s (and they are still together 15 years later) so I’d say there’s still time.

Thank you. Knowing that others have recovered gives me some hope.

I guess I can’t stand briefs because I need the extra room. So when I cross my legs, junk just falls as it should and no squish.

Plus if I do the ankle cross my foot always falls asleep. That’s typically a better way to make a fool of myself.

Hmm. Uhoh.

I’m out on FMLA. Am I even going to have a job when I get back?

What the flip

Oh well just another thing that masculinity is wrong about.

Ugh, yet another set of social norms to camouflage with.

Not OP but I’ve been wondering how do do this myself, so thank you for that recommendation.

Lmfao what

One knee over the other is feminine? That’s fucking wild because I do it, my brother does it, my dad does it and my mom doesn’t.

Guess I better start wearing a kilt and “sitting like a real man” lmfao

On a serious note, having been that guy, this is the worst experience ever.

15 years of slowly being convinced being who I was, was wrong. 15 years of being told she was normal, what I wanted wasn’t. 15 years of isolation. 15 years brainwashing. 15 years of ever building self doubt.

Then she cheated on me.

Somehow I haven’t been in grippy socks yet. Pretty fucking close though with the outpatient stuff I do. Been on one date with someone else.

Edit: A greentext post of all places to get this wonderful support. 🥲

Carrying anything on my face is a terrifying prospect, IDK if it’s an autistic thing but I can’t do many expressions that don’t look obviously forced.

And I do live in a metro of less than 1m, but I believe my range goes up to a metro of > 1m.

The clothes I have now are stylish. But I have no photos in them yet.

But more importantly, I think I’ve just realized I’m really not ready to date, no matter how strong my desire for intimacy is. I’ll be going through some medicine changes and therapy. Maybe I’ll re look at this after.