

Banner is a gender-swapped AI image of me. I don’t think it looks much like me, but I liked how it turned out.


Safes are generally designed to be difficult to steal.


POV: They team up against you



Poison, I’m drownin’ in poison
I’m fillin’ up my glass, but it’s always hollow
Full of poison, I’m sick of the poison
Wish I had somethin’ to live for tomorrow



If you got the angle right, you could fuck yourself in the ass with it.
Not without tearing out the front of you!



Don’t look at me that way
It was an honest mistake


Oh yeah, I actually thought it was the other way around, but that makes more sense. Doesn’t matter for the joke, though.
Optimus Prime looks wrong with a mouth.






“You’re entering a show that is slightly different from previous, very similar shows. What was once a creepy story about a book is now about an e-reader that’s too greasy to hold. And that one phone call from the devil? Now it’s a FaceTime call from the devil. The devil part didn’t change. Prepare to see your unflattering reflection in…The Scary Mirror.”
TIL from comments here that Aladdin was originally set in China, so this is very plausible.


Tomorrow:
“I said I’d do it tomorrow. This is today now!”