I want to be dating a guy, and for him to randomly show up at my door with flowers. Maybe some nice chocolates too but really just to show up one day, knock at my door and offer me a bouquet of flowers. Perhaps carefully chosen to show that he’s listened to me, but even just a random allotment of roses that he got from Walmart.

Edit: I’m a gay dude btw

  • Death_Equity@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    14 days ago

    We literally have no idea you would appreciate that. Some people really don’t like that.

    Ask for them or say you want flowers. Even just asking something like “so when are you going to buy me flowers as a random romantic gesture?” Is a clear enough indication that flowers should be bought.

    I know, you just want him to do it spontaneously, that isn’t how guys work. Maybe the first date, anniversary, birthday, or Valentine’s a guy will do flowers unprompted. First date is least likely because it is a burden to have to deal with flowers if he isn’t picking you up from your place and a lot of people don’t feel comfortable telling a guy where you live with a first date. Are the flowers going to sit in the car? Are we bringing the flowers everywhere like some sort of botanical third wheel?

    Guys are practical to a fault. Flowers are such unnecessary and pointless things to spend money on outside of the aforementioned occasions that buying flowers otherwise are such a rediculous concept to the male mind. The money can be used for other things of use and the flowers are just going to die, so what is the point of that waste and lack of utility?

    That isn’t even touching on how such a traditional romantic gesture is possibly some sort of conservative toxic masculinity gender role red flag that supports slave wages for undocumented migrants which you will get indignant over and he gets his nice romantic gesture turned into a bite in the ass.

    So just say something if you want something, that is how guys work. Don’t hint. Don’t demand. Just say what you want and a good man will satisfy the primal need to provide and make it happen. “I would love it if you brought me flowers and some chocolates randomly. That would be so romantic and sweet.” Then you just have to wait, probably until the next time you see him because your need of flowers and chocolates has been elevated to a super important thing and making you wait for some other time would be poor providing for your needs or you may think he forgot and doesn’t care.

    Your eyes lighting up and your smile will chisel in stone that flowers and chocolates are an easy way to cheer you up and it will be done again randomly or to raise your spirits. Once you stop responding with enthusiasm, he will think that it stopped working and will probably stop, so always be excited and happy to get flowers and chocolates to renew your ticket.

  • partial_accumen@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    14 days ago

    I don’t buy flowers for holidays and especially not for apologies for my wife. I do it because maybe its a random Tuesday and I know she’ll be delighted and surprised to receive them.

  • Tm12@lemmy.caEnglish
    6·
    14 days ago

    I was once buying flowers for my partner because I knew they enjoyed them. The guy selling them asked “what’s the occasion?” And I just shrugged. “General maintenance?” and that’s how I have thought of it ever since. It’s good for the relationship to remember your partner’s wants and needs unprompted. Makes everyone feel good. Not an expectation per se, but it is work.

  • zeropointone@lemmy.worldEnglish
    71·
    13 days ago

    “Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure are, by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral and subject to chance.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

    • andros_rex@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      4·
      13 days ago

      I can buy myself flowers.

      What the desire is really connected to is the idea that someone would care enough about me to stop at the store while on their way home from work and pick up something small for me. Small gestures of care and affection.

      It’s like how a sandwich tastes better if someone else makes it. There’s a certain aspect of “this person wanted to make me happy” that is more important than the gesture itself. I can make a sandwich myself, but there’s an aspect to the idea that they actively thought about what I would enjoy, that they made it for me to enjoy it.

      • zeropointone@lemmy.worldEnglish
        11·
        13 days ago

        Might sound like a stupid question, but - why? Why do you want to outsource something you could do yourself (Appreciating you!), something you can do much better than anyone else anyway?

        • andros_rex@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          1·
          12 days ago

          Why want to have sex when you can masturbate?

          I’m all about making little gifts for people I love. I’d like my energy to be matched in some way.

  • Oka@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    27·
    14 days ago

    Chocolate, I understand. But you can do better than flowers. Ask for something with a long-term use, like a board game, book, or puzzle.

    • VioletSoftness@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      5·
      14 days ago

      flowers are pretty and the ephemeral nature is part of the beauty of the gift. It’s not about having a thing it’s about the lovely gesture and how beautiful and lovely smelling they are for a while.

        • VioletSoftness@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          1·
          13 days ago

          that’s your prerogative but you’re also gifting them a lot of responsibility and chores with that so you know make sure that’s something they are into first.

          Plants don’t have nervous systems and don’t feel pain when cut, they are a renewable resource and some types of plants suffer no harm by the cutting of flowers. Every woman i have given flowers to has been delighted by it and I have been delighted to receive them myself!