I’ve spent my whole adulthood working in hospitals. They’re shitholes, every single last one of them. Do every single thing you can to never be in one.

Drink water, plain water. Eat whole grains and leafy vegetables. Treat red meat like a dessert (and if you’re morally opposed to meat, make sure you’re still getting all your essential proteins). Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it at least three times a week. Either join an organized religion or specifically curate a group of people you do a weekly activity with who will come check on you if you suddenly stop showing up. And while you’re at it pick a mindfulness activity that you either enjoy or that brings you peace (prayer qualifies but so can yoga or a lot of other things). Avoid nicotine and alcohol at all costs. Go easy on the weed, and avoid anything more interesting without guidance from either a medical professional or some kind of traditional expert on those substances. And if a competent doctor listens to your specific situation and tells you to do or not do something I’ve mentioned, listen to them instead of me.

Decide who you would want to speak for you on your death or near-deathbed. Choose people both trustworthy and level-headed who will put your wishes over their own emotions. Choose multiple people, because it’s not unlikely that any one person will be in the car wreck with you. Talk to those people about what you want to happen or not happen so they can best carry out your wishes. Sign some kind of legally binding paperwork that cements them as the decision maker, especially if your first choice is not the default the state would choose (parent, spouse, sibling, adult child, etc). You can write whatever you want then to do on the paper, but the chosen person will have the right to override it if they think you would want them to. So sign the paper but don’t forget to TALK to them about it.

And good luck because while this will give you the best odds, the universe might also just decide to fuck you in particular anyway.

Older people? 30+? 💀

Be a doctor, in medical, electric, or plumbing. They’ll exist forever. Alternatively luck out and work 50 work from home jobs at the same time it’s all bullshit work and 99% meetings and very doable

Cut out social media from your life completely. No, I swear to god, this is life changing advice not some boomer platitudes about how kids these days are always in their phones.

You don’t realize how much life you are missing by being completely stuck to your phone. I promise the world will continue to turn if you ignore your phone for a few hours at a time.

Quit Facebook, quit Instagram, quit X, quit TikTok. If you feel like you are bored and want to open the apps, try something else. Read a book, start a creative writing project, listen to music while meditating, play video games, do some woodworking, go for a walk or a hike with your dog, learn a new language, go out to the bar or club and socialize, go to the gym and work out, draw stuff from your imagination.

I promise promise promise you will feel better. Not right away, but very soon after you start doing these things instead of the vapid doomscrolling, shitposting, clout-chasing, self-aggrandizing social media spiral you will realize that you don’t need your phone. You are able to live your best life when you aren’t thinking about what’s being posted online or taking constant selfies or photographing every meal you eat.

Your future self will thank me.

Younger generations? Find your fucking way out of wild capitalism. You deserve to have a home, free time and mental health.

Get off here. It’s documented mental illness at this point. I come from the beforetimes. When I was a teenager, a/s/l was redundant because the BBS was a local call, and if you wanted to see what someone looked like they had to own a scanner, which was rare and expensive. It was liberating to be able to talk to people and make friends without the superficiality of irl interactions.

Modern internet is profit-motivated and monetization is driven by engagement. It takes time and effort to curate your experience to squelch what the platform wants to show you, which is content you’re most likely to engage with at the time you’re most likely to engage with it. You’re not talking to your friends anymore. It’s an isolating experience.

The next time you’re talking to someone or replying to a post, looking for your gotcha mic-drop moment, consider why you came here in the first place. Are you here deliberately, or are you just using the internet service that came with your smartphone? Go out into the world instead. Constant rage is unhealthy. Voting, community moderation, logins, persistent identity, and profiles have made the internet experience way more image-obsessed than the irl experience ever was. Your discourse is being streamlined, not encouraged and diversified.

tl;dr: go find your tribe, your real tribe.

“Treat every computer like you’re in a library and the head librarian is stood behind you with someone in a very plain black suit next to them”

Pretty much another bit of “Don’t put anything personally identifying on the internet, you don’t know who wants that information or why, but you know they’ll be able to take it if they want to” kinda advice. (Thankfully haven’t learned that one the hard way, just heard it and now it’s stuck.)

Remember that any advice from your parents (or anyone over 30, apparently) is, at best, 20 years past its best by date. Doesn’t mean it’s not still good, but give it a sniff test.

Just one comment. I’m just over 50 now and can confirm that every decade you look ahead people appear wiser, but every decade you look back people look young with lots still to learn.

Experience is everything, age means very little.

My marriage is approaching 30 years now.

A lot of this goes without saying or as some would say common sense. Only there is no common sense as it is too subjective of a term. Look at me, I am already digressing and I haven’t even started.

Everything you know about life and love will change in your lifetime. Everything you have learned is a half truth. You sometimes find happiness when you can find the whole truth for yourself. This often means you may end up in conflict with culture, society, or even family. This is normal.

If you love and care about yourself, you can truly love and care about someone else. Although there may be sacrifice in relationships, the factor that makes them work is how you build each other up. A marriage or any partnership should always be about helping each other achieve more.

Be grateful for your life and everything you have and everyone you know everyday. Say it out loud, tell it to the people in your family, in your friendships, in your workplace, and most importantly in your close relationships.

Not only is it important to say it, it is important to show it through your actions. A common trope is actions are louder than words. Both are actually important, although I do have a preference for people showing it because it validates what they say.

Treat people how they want to be treated. This blows the golden rule out of the water. Don’t know how they want to be treated? This is normal. You ask them. Asking someone how they want to be treated and treating them that way is the surest way to gain respect.

Unless you save you are not paying yourself anything. If you spend everything you make you are literally stealing from your future. Always save everything you can and invest it if you want it to grow. Think twice about purchases, especially if they are major. Being a little thrifty in life is way better than living paycheck to paycheck.

Wear the fucking retainer after braces come off.

30+ here. Drink more water, wear sunscreen, take photos of your friends, and don’t marry someone just because the Wi-Fi is shared

Start exercising. Now. Doesn’t matter how old you are. Find the time. Doesn’t have to be a full blown gym habit, just consistent, makes-you-sweat exercise. It will never be easier to get in the habit.

Take care of your teeth!! I get it can be hard to do so if you’re depressed cause I’ve been there. I’ve lost a couple molars cause of it. It’s expensive and sucks. At least try your best to do it once a week if you struggle.

Advice that older people give you is just them looking at their own regrets. You may not have the same ones, so take it with a grain of salt. You have your one life to live so do whatever you want.