Currently I’m using Joplin with Syncthing-backed file system synchronization. I’m pretty pleased with it, as I do like tagging- and Markdown-based systems.
I plan to upgrade to server-based synchronization, but before doing that, however, I wanted to see what other people are using.
Edit: So far I see a slight favor towards Joplin and Logseq, but I totally didn’t expect (and appreciate) getting so many different answers.
I’m not judging, not sure how or why you think you’re failing but it’s not coming from me!
I’m like you, I use Bear for when I’m lazy and emacs for everything else. Two polar opposites but at least with Bear I can collaborate with my wife without complication.