When I figured out that a lot of people are going to spend their better years, wasting away, working jobs they hate every 40 hours of the week and 8 hours a day or longer. That is unless they either have been born with that silver spoon in their mouth or had at least been born with the tools of ambition to develop careers out of it that isn’t just slaving away, making people who’re not them, richer.
And by the time we’re done, if ever we see retirement, we’re then told to ‘enjoy retirement’. Some at 65, some far older. When we’re too frail to even enjoy anything we once could when we were younger. It’s a very cruel joke of life, if you ask me. Born to play throughout your toddler to kid to teenage days, enslaved to work through your young adolescent and adulthood days, grow old and weak as you’re older until death.
And we’re not even fully enjoying it on our way through this path either because of this design.
If anybody calls you a ‘deadbeat’ for deciding to play games all day or even sitting on your couch binge watching things. You educate them about how “productive” it is working as a wage slave and how deep in the hole it has gotten us in society.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned who I am, and become comfortable with that. And, I’ve also learned who I’m not. This has reduced stress for me.
The real answer buried in the comments.
The walls seperating governments, corporations and organized crime are somewhere between transparently thin to non-existant.
tacking onto that: a lot of the things we grew up to accept as “given truth” are complete lies
As I’ve grown up, the most depressing realization I had is that adults are a myth. No one knows what the hell they’re doing. People can be good at doing their thing in a specialty but world leaders are mostly putting on a brave face.
There’s no real plan. No one’s on the same page. No one’s steering the ship. It’s just a whole lot of hemming and hawing, and a few idiots doing the bull in a china shop routine.
You struggle to make new connections as you get older, and as old connections fall, you become more isolated and realize just how few people give a shit that you exist at all.
While true, you also learn that you’re free not to give a shit about them, too, and “wear purple”.
Science VS! Has a good podcast episode about happy people studies. TL:DR There is real benefit to maintaining at least a few real close friendships throughout life. Apparently commiseration and friendship actually goes a long way.
https://www.playpodcast.net/podcast/science-vs/#e3279-sD83GUY07wsiOuqBS8Mag Edit; better explanation and no Spotify :)
We spend our formative years constructing a model of the world that makes sense, and the rest of our lives coming to terms with how wrong we were.
Somewhere in the middle: A dream job doesn’t exist, but a dream life with a job can.
It is what you make of it.
Obviously a dream job is make lots of money but do very little. That’s what makes us hate the rich so much, the core reason.
a dream job is make lots of money but do very little
Nope. It’s “make enough to survive and have a life outside of a job that isn’t terrible to be at”.
And it could be “make lots of indolent money” but that’s either boring or impossible, and studies show the non-sucky rewarding job is better for your well-being if you do have to work.
Face it: you’re gonna have to work. Find a job you don’t hate, that gives you enough to goof off afterward and really enjoy something and still survive. We’re edging out of boomer/x wage-slave era and one thing the millennials have is an eye for a life that isn’t defined by wealth and work, and that has prepared them the most for survival on this planet at each stage of life.
Everything, even high end shit, is built to be the cheapest possible, generally with no regard to repair.
You will not be “too frail” to enjoy life at 65, or even older. Don’t let that thought poison your present. I took up a competitive sport in my 60s, as well as beekeeping, and I’m not an outlier.
I read this to mean beekeeping was one of the competitive sports you took up and now I want there to be competitive beekeeping
Oh that made me laugh, because actually beekeepers are a competitive lot. There’s an annual honey show, prizes galore. Not just for the honey, but for wax creations, baking and more. I got a first for photography - a trophy and a book token.
There’s also a more subtle competition over the amount of honey produced, success in splitting colonies, managing to get colonies through winter, fewest stings. It’s great.
On the other hand, I know several people of whom one of their parents died before reading 65, or even 60. So better enjoy your life while you have it. You don’t know how much time you have.
Mate, I know people who died as babies, as teenagers, a friend was murdered in her thirties, life can be over in the snap of the fingers at any age. My own father died in his fifties; that has had a huge effect on how I live my life. I take risks, I stretch myself.
I’m a happy enough guy, and I’ve been lucky with family in my life, so this comment, while it may sound negative , hopefully won’t bring you down - it’s just a general observation from 48 years on the planet.
Basically, I’ve noticed that most ‘professional’ folk - ie Doctors, lawyers etc these days are surprisingly mediocre people.
I always assumed, as a kid, that these people in lofty positions would be intelligent, eloquent, wise and charismatic.
Perhaps it’s because I was raised on TV and have unrealistic expectations, but the lawyers and doctors I’ve dealt with myself through work and in my personal life seem entirely unremarkable. I could forgive that if they were steadfast and competent, but instead I’ve found them to be mostly dull and poor at their jobs.
My superiors at work seem to be barely able to string a sentence together without ChatGPT, and our kids teachers are little better.
Anyway, rant over. Just generally fed up with how many, franky, inept people are in jobs that I once assumed were for exceptional individuals.
I’ve been of the position, although I’ve only worked in a kitchen is that some people just don’t need jobs. We should give them the minimum to enjoy life of course but there’s just too many people who are bored or too stressed out at work and make everyone else’s jobs harder.
You seem overly smug. The typical “everyone else is an idiot but not me!” That’s not new. AI has nothing to do with it.
There are countless genius people out there everywhere doing excellent things with their own skill and knowledge.
Of course there are. I’m far from perfect and fall dramatically short when compared to competent professionals.
However, you’re missing the point. I’m talking about people I actually deal with in my life. People, through virtue of the position they hold, that I fully expected to be a cut above the rest of us.
These people have jobs that I personally (and I suspect many others) assumed would demand a level of expertise and dedication that puts them beyond the reach of most ordinary people.
Turns out I was wrong. These positions are teaming with unremarkable folk who seem to have decided that that’s what they’re going to do and have got there.
Perhaps the real issue is a lack of self-belief on my part, but I don’t think so. I’m aware of my limitations, so therefore I’d never seek to become, say, a doctor.
Having dealt with countless inept professionals I can only conclude that they were not deterred by their own shortcomings the way many of us are.
Having been on one of those positions I can say that I changed careers because of what you describe.
Learning is a lifelong path…
What you were seeking were knowledgeable wise sages. They do exist but are very rare.
There are countless genius people out there everywhere doing excellent things with their own skill and knowledge.
Nobody denied that. But those are definitely not most people like the post you’re replying to is taking about.
I guess you haven’t been around a lot of “professionals.” Doctors are often shockingly inept at computers.
For many people the only thing worse than having no family is having family.
When your family does nothing but put you down because they’re still living in an idyllic 1950’s fantasy world where all your issues mean you’re just not working hard enough, it can make you want to off yourself. Especially when that same family clearly didn’t budget well and is financially fucked themselves because they were living beyond their means and yet they get angry at you because you asked for help for buying fucking $5 of soap that one time you were really bad off.
Lisa was an older friend who had early onset Alzheimer’s. When her memory problems got severe her sister asked for a loan and my friend pulled thousands out of her 401k.
The sister realized that Lisa could not remember giving her the loan after a few weeks, (much less remember to ask it be repaid) and came back asked for loans eleven more times. Lisa’s 401K was almost completely drained and she was left with a huge tax bill that finished it off. She ended up on Medicaid the last years of her life.
May the sister rot in hell.
You can try to help your friends who have mental issues, but it comes with risks.You should know when to stop. I’m not telling you to abandon your friends who need help. Try to support them, but only within your limits.
You’re (probably) not a professional therapist, so you don’t really have the means to make the kind of impact you’re hoping to make. Try to pay attention to the signs when the relationship is beginning to harm your well being. When you notice that, it’s time to step back.
If you know someone who clearly needs help but refuses to seek it, you’re in a tough spot. Realistically, there might not be much you can do to help. Coming to terms with that that is painful, but watching someone collapse and implode is even more agonizing.
Positive side: You’ve done what you can, but sometimes that just isn’t enough. It’s not your fault if someone gravitates towards an otherwise avoidable disaster, so don’t blame yourself.
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Two important lessons are opposite aspects of the same thing:
- You’re not entitled to anyone giving a fuck 😞
- Nobody gives a fuck 😀
In other words: You’re responsible for your own happiness. And whatever makes you happy, most people won’t care, and fewer will think any less of you for it. Enjoy what you like, and don’t worry too much about what others think.
That the most evil people who are willing to break laws and social norms at other’s expense are the most likely to succeed
Yet weirdly enough many people still let the psychos decide what “success” means.
If the game is rigged against you, stop playing it. Live by your examined values and get your priorities in order. If you really want tons of money, and power, by all means play the game. But if you actually value something else than money, pursue that. Money is often a shortcut, not an obstacle. People have more options than they think but the capitalistic mindset doesn’t allow people to see them. Are you going to perhaps have to sacrifice luxuries that capitalism has granted us? Yeah. Is it just that easy? No. But how fucking ungovernable would you be if you you could settle for less?
Buddhist monks are doing pretty good. Not that you have to go that extreme but just to make the point: usually people reject modest living purely because they just gotta have more. And the system everyone is bemoaning in this thread is always ready to provide more and more and more - the price is just one’s body and soul.
Most people in this thread could take a good, long look at their wants and needs and figure out which are actually which. And then decide for themselves what they can do that’s actually worth doing as per their own values.
Oh I’m not even talking about that. I’ve been through hell and back but my day to day is alright now. I’m talking on the scale of environmental collapse and fascism, no mindset will protect from that
Sure it will. We aren’t the first creatures or even people to witness what we take to be the end of the world. You can grieve it and do your best to resist it if you so feel called. If you can do so out of love for whatever it is that you value. My gratitude and respect if so.
Just stop believing that it is “bad”. Which is NOT the same as saying it’s “good”. It’s just the natural consequence of everything that has happened so far. Or do you shake your fist at the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs? Have you given a good talking to at the volcanoes in Siberia for wiping out nearly all life in the Great Dying? Or any number of other events that led to mass extinctions. Human nature is also just a natural consequence and we’re a microscopic blip in Earth’s history. Cherish what is here now and do what you’re called to do out of love for what you want to protect but you’ll spare yourself a lot of meta-suffering if you can give up the idea that there’s some right or wrong way for history to go. There’s just what is advantageous for humanity and what isn’t. I’m aligned with the former but I don’t believe that humanity should or shouldn’t exist.
Yeah no, this is a very privileged take. Many of us don’t have the privilege of being able to just ignore fascism
Never once did I say to ignore anything. On the contrary, I encouraged taking action, twice. But from a place of love and empowerment, not from a place of hate and futile demand for the world to bend to your will. That will only consume you from within.
But if you wish to bring privilege into this, let’s do so with honesty: the fact that you’re here, on Lemmy, discussing these things freely, already means you’re in a position of relative safety. Most of the world doesn’t have that luxury. MOST of the world is too busy surviving, too busy fighting for clean water, food, or a roof over their heads. If you have the time and space to worry about fascism or collapse online, you’re already doing better than BILLIONS of people who have the exact same capacity to experience suffering as you do. That’s not to dismiss your concerns, it’s just to say that perspective matters and you may want to be careful about how you wield the accusation of privilege.
And this device you’re using? There’s a good chance it was made possible by slave labor. That’s not your fault, but it’s worth sitting with. Because exploitative labor is also a function of capitalism. The system is what it is, and we’re all part of it in ways we don’t always see.
Guess what also addresses these inequalities though? Settling for less, refusing to play the game of endless wanting for more. Like I said.
Everyone’s probably already said this, and it counts as both good and bad.
Nobody else knows what they’re doing, either. I think I learned this depressingly late in life. I had this idea that the movers and shakers of the world got there because they knew what they were doing. Their goals and mine may not align, but they know how to achieve them. It was probably when the Juicero came out and (Forbes?) had that video of someone just squeezing the bag into a glass, and then me subsequently learning how much VC funding that thing got. It made me realize that Silicon Valley tech bros and their investors live in a different world altogether.
