• reksas@sopuli.xyz
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    23 days ago

    men are discouraged from approaching women and women dont want to show their interest in clear way. How have we not gone extinct yet?

    • jali67@lemmy.zip
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      22 days ago

      Because the internet isn’t real life and plenty of people know how to talk to people, including those of the opposite sex.

      • Haunt@thelemmy.club
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        22 days ago

        That isn’t as true as you think. Communication is often the weakest part of any relationship (romantic, platonic, professional).

        Everyone has their own language and very few people are willing to adapt to someone else’s way of communicating, even when that effort should be mutual.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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          21 days ago

          I think that’s true today. When I was younger it def felt like people, of any gender, were more willing to try and understand other people. Like, people used to ask me what I like to do and why I like it… now they ask me what I like to do and tell me I’m an idiot for liking something that isn’t the same as what they like.

      • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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        22 days ago

        Fun story: this guy I know on my gaming Facebook group would complain about being single. This was an older men’s group/dad group. He’d repeat whatever the manosphere would say and ask for validation, and we (usually married dudes) usually say things like, “Yeah man dating is hard” and “women give mix signals”.

        Finally, mods called out how his last 10+ posts were complaining and his shitty attitude is just sucking the energy out of the group. They warned him that if he kept it up, they’d ban him from the group until he fixed his behavior.

        Fast forward to today - he’s telling us about his new girlfriend he met on NYE and how they had a amazing valentines. He shared how after that post, he took a long look at himself and stopped sabotaging himself.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      22 days ago

      We are on the way. sex and relationship rates are massively declining for Gen Z.

      I have four newphews 16-20. they have all dated. all but one of them has already sworn off dating because they think it’s total bullshit and they thought it was miserable and no fun to have a girlfriend, for the very same reasons, I also am frustrated with dating and relationships in my 40s. It’s insane. It took me 30+ years of dating to get fed up, they were fed up in 1-2 years.

      And all of us agree the issue is women’s expectations they get from social media. My 17 year old nephew broke up with his gf because he got her flowers and she complained they were not $200+ that he was a ‘low effort’ boyfriend and all her friends dog-piled in group chat and agreed. He’s 17 and he makes 15 bikes an hour part time…

      Like why would any sane person want to subject themselves to group harassment from multiple women for the ‘sin’ of not being able to buy her absurdly expensive flowers? In my situation, I take women out on $100-200 dinner takes and get told that I’m a ‘loser’ for not taking her out to a $1000 restaurant on our 3rd date. It’s INSANE.

      None of that happened 10 years ago. If I took a woman out to a $100 restaurant 10 years ago she was STOKED. Now the refrain on the news is ‘men are not good enough for women and women are giving up’. Without acknowledging the changes in women’s expectations for men due to their addiction to social media and constant consumption of ‘lifestyle’ influences.

      All anyone blames is the manosphere… and how evil that is. But really it’s both sexes that are swept up in these toxic sexist expectations that are making both of them miserable and lonely and unable to connect with other people.

      • dansel@lemmy.world
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        22 days ago

        Damn.

        15 bikes an hour is really fucking impressive, no what what kind of bikes.

        • Raiderkev@lemmy.world
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          22 days ago

          Right, depending on the margins, he could probably make good money selling those bikes.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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          22 days ago

          sorry, do men dog pile on their friends girlfriends for not buying them nice enough gifts? or not giving him enough blowjobs?

          I’ve never had another guy comment on my relationship with my girlfriend. and I’ve never commented on theirs. only thing I ever experience was some bitter virgin types guy telling me how good i have it that I have ever had sex or get female attention at all.

          • yabbadabaddon@lemmy.zip
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            22 days ago

            Please, do not go down this road. Are you really going to argue that our society does not put unrealistic expectations on women?

            • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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              22 days ago

              No, I’d argue that women who think that way are simple choosing to be miserable and making excuses for it. And that’s their choice.

              They also often blame men for their choice the make them unhappy, weirdly enough.

              I don’t date or interact with women who think that way, purposefully. I sure do meet plenty of them, who lecture me about how hard their lives are… and I just laugh at them because most of the time their life is 1000x easier than mine ever was.

                • phx@lemmy.world
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                  22 days ago

                  The incel slope does seem to have a lot more members lately, whether due to social media or guys bitter from failed relationships, bit I will note that there’s an old adage that still often rings true

                  “Men will fight each other physically sometimes to the point of bloodshed, but women will tear each other down socially without mercy”

        • veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world
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          21 days ago

          It’s not economic, as much as people like to believe.

          Even socially democratic utopias like Norway ,which have such massive sovereign funds that their citizenry don’t need to work a day in their lives, have a population birth crisis.

          And while I obviously am not arguing against it, the biggest correlation with declining birth rates are education and women enfranchisement.

          Honestly, a demographic implosion needs to happen with some generation. Better now, to reset capitalistic expectations of unsustainable growth then later when it’s compounded.

          • Tedesche@lemmy.today
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            21 days ago

            In Norway, housing costs have skyrocketed like in the rest of the rest of the western world. This plays a significant role in the decline of birth rates. Also, as populations increase in wealth and education, birth rates tend to go down, because parents prioritize focusing on fewer children rather than having more to support an agrarian economy. It is economy-driven. The effects on female empowerment are interwoven with that. Women tend to do better in better economies, because better economies focus more on service industries rather than material ones, which favor women over men.