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Hey, parent here, and Off My Chest back to you: Sacrificing for my child sounds like a bit much. But I’m also intrigued: sacrifice in which way, on a spectrum that could range from “Save from a burning building” to “Spend years of one’s life to raise a child”
But honestly, wholesome parent-child relations are awesome. When I had my kid I was determined to have nothing but wholesome interactions with them. Doesn’t always work out like that. Trauma that is passed on through generations is not easy to shake off. As a parent I feel lucky and honored that my grown up child still wants to talk to me!
You have no idea how strong this bond is…
Like… my mom have what I call “bipolar moments” and yells at me a lot
I still have an INTENSE feeling towards her…
Like I’m scare of her and yet I don’t wanna let go… I’m simultaneously afraid of separation
Like I constantly think about the past, the nostalgia where I cuddled with her, travel around the city, played on the beach, I spend time with her more than any other family member.
I never even see my mom and dad kiss, hug, or hold hands… I never see my older brother cuddled with mom
I feel like I have a special unique bond with mom…
I’m this very clingy child…
Apparantly there is a phenomenon where children’s brains develop attachment to their caregivers…
So yea…
Brain chemicals be funny
That is a survival mechanism you’re describing, and it is very real. Idk if you’re a minor and/or otherwise dependent on her care, if so this is a big factor.
My attachment withered away long after a lifetime of abuse, and it took me years to stop protecting her even in the way I talked about her. What a sick and twisted feeling to hate someone so much, resent the pain they gave you, yet still seek their approval and yearn for the ‘good’ times.
I’m sorry you have gone and are going through this, and can assure you that you deserve the love you seek - it likely lies with someone else.
This varies by mindset and worldview but most parents would agree having a child comes with daily sacrifice. From my perspective being a parent is one of the most fulfilling sacrifices one can make.
