• AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    As a straight dom male, I can tell you that the inverse is also true. Straight sub women routinely want me to do stuff that isn’t BDSM and is actual abuse. I blame the 50 shades of grey series at least in part for that.

    • GhostFace@lemmy.today
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      5 days ago

      Straight sub women routinely want me to do stuff that isn’t BDSM and is actual abuse.

      Give some examples?

      I have very few restrictions when it comes to someone getting physical with me as long as it’s not permanent. I have found plenty of doms lacking because they express discomfort in rougher kinks. Light bruising is not abuse for example although you should probably take your time and get to know me well enough so that you trust I’m not crazy and that I won’t tell people you’re battering me.

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        One lady wanted me to choke her till she passed out. Another lady wanted a bag over her head. Another asked me to “punch me and leave bruises while I cum.” I could go on, but honestly it’s kinda disturbing.

        Then there are the people that confuse CNC with straight up rape. Rape fantasy is one thing. Asking me to organize a CNC “home breakin” with people that you specifically don’t know and have never met isn’t something I would have any idea how to do safely.

        • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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          5 days ago

          Someone keept telling me about how they wanted me to do CNC stuff, and I pretty much felt nauseous at hearing that shit.

        • GhostFace@lemmy.today
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          5 days ago

          The first few are fine?

          The last one is where I would draw the line, even if it involved vetting people off of fetlife.

          There’s a difference between hard doms and soft doms. It sounds more like you’re the second and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Some of us genuinely enjoy being hit and choked and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It means we trust you enough to even ask at all. If it’s not something you enjoy or feel comfortable doing that is also fine.

      • StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        This gave me a bit of a giggle because I used to know a real one who would show off their work. Not as a trophy or anything, more like, “This is how bruised I’m willing to make someone.” A display of competence, but also a limit. He had anonymized photos from different sessions, and it gave great insight into what impact play actually looks like.

        All pictures were taken and shown from the neck down, with consent.

    • FoxtrotDeltaTango@sh.itjust.works
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      5 days ago

      This unfortunately, too real. It’s really unfortunate that it’s gotten bad for both genders,

      And I’m a straight dom male, I’m very chill but, a lot of women into things that make me nope out