KingJalopy

I just listened to this in bed last night! Great for sleeping. Love this guy.

You’ll find that anywhere. Not just on the Internet, either. Literally, everywhere.

Half and half is only fair. Trick or treat

Wow, you had flour at your house? Who’s the capitalist pig now? Must’ve been nice eating bread.

I tried to tell this to some kid at my child’s school’s trunk or treat the other day he said, “sorry all I have is a pillowcase” and I said dude that’s the way to rock it. You can fit way more candy in it. Plus you can sneak some in your room by stuffing your pillow in there. I never used a bucket as a kid. I always used the pillowcase.

Now that I think about it we were also really poor…

Black licorice

Straight from bored panda after they stole it from reddit. This meme has legs!

all ways

This is the adult, “takes one to know one”

Who the hell is telling you that? I’ve been using moisturizers forever. People often ask my age then don’t believe it and I’m like lotion dude. Everyday. Care for your skin. Never been told I couldn’t.

Nice

I googled it

The letter ð represents the voiced dental fricative, a consonant sound that is similar to the “th” sound in the word “father”. It is also known as eth, and comes from the Old English and Icelandic letter of the same name.

What’s up with the people in the stands? Why they all repeating?

That was my intro to Vonnegut and I rather enjoyed it. Enough to read more from him which is when I realized it wasn’t a great book.

You should see the movie. It stars nic cage and he did it as a favor to a friend. It’s fucking awful. funny thing though, my story is identical to yours. Had no idea until it was too late lol.

We are all American on this blessed day

Today is kind of a not very blessed day at least in America

The treat that’s salty and sweet!

That shit ass has a poop butt

My little poop butt can be a real shit ass

I like it

Thinking the words, “just calm down” in the heat of an argument with my wife will actually work if I just try it enough times. Mathematically it should but it seems math doesn’t care about that.