That’s not a “never”

I know you’re joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

I love the voice change, it makes it sound like it’s saying the item with massive air quotes so suddenly everything sounds like a euphemism for something terrible

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was “rebooting the computer” I’d be depressingly wealthy.

I want more of this guy

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Do they… they torture them with a rubber horse…?

ETA: Goddammit it says rubber hose

Nah, the nakedness was meant to symbolize humanity gaining self-awareness, which separates them from the purity and innocence of other animals. After Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, they realize they’re naked and feel instinctively ashamed of that (as most people would, but regular animals wouldn’t), so they cover themselves with leaves. In fact IIRC, the fact that they’re covering themselves up is what tips off God that they ate the fruit.

I’ve always just assumed our particular corner of space is considered the “Florida” of the universe

Alternate title: Find someone who can sit on your face

So this is totally random and unsolicited, but I’ve seen you around some of the communities I’m in and I noticed you sometimes use slashes to emphasize words (e.g. /actual/). Maybe that’s a personal preference, but just in case, I thought I’d let you know that Lemmy supports Markdown formatting, so you can italicize words by wrapping them in asterisks. For example, *actual* becomes actual

See a doctor

I think you’re confusing civilization with utopia

ITT: Marketing specialist vs engineer

Well you didn’t think that sling was just made of out any old leather, did you?

My coworker flips his shit every time I include a ternary operator in a PR. He also insists on refactoring any block of code longer than two lines into its own function, even when it’s only used once.

He is not well liked.

Easily the most disappointing day of Oprah’s life