When he dies you’re gonna miss that shit. I’d reccomend saving a couple of those voicemails.

Stupid questions.

Do they call you downpunxx because you go down on every swinging dick within half a mile?

More tires?

That’ll work perfectly with the contacts I already have saved.

“Survival preppers” lol. My year worth of food and water made the pandemic extremely un stressful for me. I did miss toilet paper tho.

I bet you’re just awesome to hang out with.

That dude was a G. His whole fucking life.

I recently looked up how to make soap. Shit’s complicated.

Floormat

they means

Lmao

Jesus! Do you have a Butler to wipe your ass for you too?

This is my favorite emoji 🖕🏻

Same here, hell, I’d volunteer for early access testing. My teeth suck.

I was gonna hang one off my rearview mirror.

Obviously not, I said they work.

My fridges and washing machines plug into the wall and work when I press the GO button. That’s the end of it. I resist “smart” things like the plague.

Coup. COUP! It’s not a fucking chicken house!

Nice! What’s the car?

That’s not how you spell l33t. You fucking n00b.