There’s a real time and place for every human being to eat the sloppiest sandwich ever made. And it’s fucking delicious. Every time.

Onward to the paper, my noble steed!

Fuckin’ oversensitive dipshits. All of them. They can feel free to paddle their douche canoes as far away from me as possible.

Making new frens every day

The Bert’s Gambit

Cast CROPDUST and watch in delight as the room evacuates due to the stench emanating from your festering bowels.

This comment hit me like a gut punch of dread.

And now I’ll think about it for years.

This is how The Battle of Wisconsin starts.

Hashtag producestrong

Literally the first rule of Raccoon Club. You don’t talk about Raccoon Club.

That brake check maneuver is going to haunt her for decades.

If you’ve never rolled over in laughter after someone rips The Big One, I will forever question your friendship.

Farts are tactfully hilarious bodily functions. Mad props, too, if you covertly crop dust an entire room.

Yes. American Pie - Summer Edition. Just as warm, but a little bit wetter.

I’m terrified to see an AI rendering of what The David, 2 Girls, 1 Cup would look like.

If you aren’t going 90mph on your way into Detroit you’re causing a traffic jam. Full stop.

Fight you? You wouldn’t even try fighting back except during the playoffs, Kareem!

It’s the smell of success. No doubt.

Like this comment if you recently farted.

Why are most of their palms facing outward?

I’ve never seen it done that way. It seems really uncomfortable and a bad way to to transition into a fistfight if shit’s about to go down.

Looks pretty neat!