“There’s a big secret that somebody knows that will totally sink Trump’s career at long last and if we can just find what it is and tell everyone else we’ll win” is a lie liberals have been feeding to one another for thirteen years running.

We have him glad-handing Jeffery Epstein and nobody seems to fucking care. We have him on record paying off prostitutes and taking bribes from the Saudis and implying he’d like to fuck his daughter. We have videos of him saying insane shit about having sex on a yacht during a speech to the fucking Boy Scouts. We have him rambling incoherently about “Eating the Dogs and the Cats” in the middle of a national debate.

But don’t worry, there’s something even deeper and weirder and crazier. And that’s going to make all the difference.

And that’s why he’s friends with Vladimir Putin. It’s certainly not just that they’re both white nationalists who agree with each others’ politics.