I Brazilian portuguese that would be “Caguei” -> I took a shit
There’s also “to pouco me fudendo” -> I’m barely fucking myself
Essa é boa kkkkkk
“My dick hurts” (Bosnian)
Like water on a goose - Swedish
Just thought of one that takes a bit of explanation. In Swedish, much like German, words are joined to create longer words. Such as smörgåsbord(sandwich table). The smurfs in Swedish are therefore called gammelsmurfen (old smurf), "anything"smurfen. Because of this, people jokingly say “intressesmurfen antecknar” ( interest smurf is taking notes) to indicate that they don’t care about what somebody is saying
This may be the least vulgar one yet, lol
Not my circus, not my monkeys. (English)
Like the server said, “Not my table!”
A few others from french :
J’en parlerai à mon cheval (I’ll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m’en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)Layeth thine eyes upon my field of fucks and behold that it is barren.
Now that has(eth) style.
My dick hurts (Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian)
Bulgarian as well, but that the dick “doesn’t” hurt is implied. I assume it’s the same for you?
It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).
It sucks my dick.
I care a crow’s nest (as in ships)
I care a turd.
I care a shit.
(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)
There are more vulgar ones in Spain:
Me la suda (“la” refers to “la polla”): It makes my dick sweat
Me la pela: It peels my dick
Me importa una mierda: That matters a shit to me
Obviously, this last one is closer to “I don’t give a shit,” but it’s essentially the same sentiment.
“My dick hurts” - various west Balkan languages.
Flowers on my dick and bees all around is so mysterious
It was all the buzz in those days!
Honey, stick around; I’ve got more where those came from.
Buzz off, we don’t need you droning on.
Maybe it’s something more like “I dislike this situation”? Because I’d honestly be freaking out if my dick was covered in flowers and I was surrounded by bees. That’s how you get bees on your dick which seems objectively bad. I would give a fuck.
I interpret it as “I don’t give a fuck about it, and I’m so calm about it that I can literally have flowers on my dick and bees around it and I’ll be safe, I’m a Buddha of fucking calmness about this situation, I’m one with nature and the planet”.
You know, bees attack you only if you do some violent movements. I’m overthinking it, but I agree from the bunch it’s the one that stands out. So poetic.
But bees are typically not aggressive unless you frighten them. It might even tickle a little.
Greek Yeah I know of that phrase but it’s not really used. It’s as funny in Greek as it is in English.
Most common is “on my balls”, the short version of I am writing it/him/her on my balls. Implying that you care so little you have the name of it/him/her written on your balls. Yeah it does t make much sense.
The lighter version (you would see in subtitles for example) is “to me there is no nail being burned”. I don’t know where it comes from. Must be something to do with nails being left behind when you burn wooden structure.
Edit: oh I remembered another; “I shat myself”.
Or a simple “Na” while pointing to your nether region will do as well.
One of the ways to say in Brazilian Portuguese: “estou cagando e andando”
Literally, “I am shitting and walking (simultaneously)”
Not as obviously cool as the above, but I always liked the way Tagalog (Philippines) works: wala akong pakialam. Literally translated, it’s just “I don’t care,” but there’s a layer of passive-aggressiveness that can make it really offensive.
Hopefully interesting grammar lesson
In the Philippines, politeness is a really big deal, so big they have multiple layers to it:
- add “ho” - use for someone around your age to make the sentence polite
- add “po” - use for someone of higher status or age to make the sentence polite
- use plural form of you - makes anything more polite, and must be used w/ “po” with the elderly or people deserving/expecting respect
There are also pretty strict, unspoken rules about what is appropriate and what’s not appropriate to say in public.
Tagalog also uses prefixes to verbs for conjugation with separate prefixes for different uses of the same verb (e.g. physical action vs “internal” action, group action, habitual action, etc). The prefix here is “paki” (turns things into a request), and the verb is “alam” (to know). Literally translated, it means something like “please inform me,” though you could use other ways to communicate the same thing. My point here though is that “paki-” makes the request super polite.
To break it down: “wala” (Nothing, don’t have) “ako(ng)” (I, me), “paki-” (polite request), “-alam” (to know).
Basically, that construction throws out the entire culture of politeness while blatantly saying you don’t want anything to do with knowing about whatever that is. In many contexts, it’s more offensive than swearing at the person.
I love this. The closest I’ve come in English is replying to a huge angry text rant with “Unsubscribe”
I feel like you can get somewhat close with some english speaking cultures, youd be surprised how pissy folks from the South get when you respond to their passive aggressive BS with curt but utterly impolite responses.
Bless your heart, darling.
I will skin you alive and make your family watch.
n. I couldn’t give a flying fuck (English English)
n+1. Ah couldnae gi a flyin’ fuck (Scottish)I don’t give a rat’s ass!
