• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Animals I have beaten in a fight:

    Feral dogs.

    Feral dogs likely mixed with eastern coyote. I cheated though, I shot them.


    Animals that have beaten me in a fight:

    Geese.

    A catfish (in my defense, it was massive and the fight was in the water. On land I would have won)

    Humans.


    Animals I have run from rather than fight:

    Hornets.

    Bears. Black bear, we startled each other, then I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.

    A big pack of dogs. Wasn’t armed, and saw them coming.


    My record is not exactly impressive

    • brap@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I mean it’s better than something truly shit like “I once accidentally stepped on a hamster”.

    • flandish@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I have about the same. Ran from a snapping turtle in the cumberland river near nashville. Was fishing. Saw what amounts to a dinosaur floating by and … noped the heck out of there.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        Oh, no way am I going near a snapper in the water. hell no

        Now, on land, I’ve had to move some off of roads before, but on land they aren’t as agile. They’re fast in the water though

    • deus@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      A goose? I was going to say it was one of the animals I could beat in a fight considering how fragile birds are in general.

      • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        Yeah, seriously. When I was a preteen my mother loved to go feed bread to ducks at the lake (I know, but it was free). More than once I had a goose think it was hot shit and hiss at me, and they, like people, never have a plan for when they get popped in the beak.

        I hated doing it, but I wasn’t about to be chased off by an uncooked holiday dinner.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        I’m going to copy/paste my response to a similar comment:

        You know, people underestimate how difficult it is to grab a goose that’s flapping and pecking at your head

        You can’t keep your eyes open, unless you just enjoy having them poked by feathers or beaks. That isn’t about pain, it’s about the reality of eye injury being a very bad thing.

        There’s tricks we used in jujutsu that make use of that reflex. You make fast movements towards the eyes, particularly if you can get close enough to make air hit the eyes from the movement, and the eyes are closing, period. You can be ready for it, watching it come, and you’ll still at least blink. It isn’t voluntary.

        Sure, you could stand there with your eyes closed, waiting for a chance to grab the bird that’s battering you. It isn’t going to kill you, it can’t unless it gets really lucky and catches your carotid just right. But, while you’re groping for that neck, you’re getting your face bruised and scratched up. Punching or slapping doesn’t do anything because they just move with it.

        So, it’s easier to give the bird what it wants: you away from its nest.