That’s a short conversation for me:
Anything medium/large-dog size and larger, no.
Below that it can certainly depend (like a venomous snake? We’ll both lose. Eagle? Honestly no fucking clue. If I got a hit in, it would be done, but I’m not sure I’d get a strike in).
Then no… Hahajah
Every fucking time this is posted. Goddamit, OP, they’ll be at this shit for hours like crows with a diamond ring.
Like beating a dead horse
Think I can beat that one
What is the horse going to do with prep time? What am I missing? This seems crucial.
He could have someone put some armor on, I imagine.
Now my scenario of shooting the horse while standing outside of its pen seems not as unfair. Guess I have to go with the mortar idea someone else suggested.
Is it okay to use the surroundings? Humans are good with this. Also with improvising tools. It’s kind of our thing. (If we take this away, we’ll be way worse but I would get it.) The problem with that is that it’s super hard to measure. I could take on a horse in a jungle, I think, but not in the Eurasian Steppe.
It also depends on the age and character of the animal. I was able to grab a swan by its neck and throw it away because it was barely an adult. I bet it would have been a lot harder if it was a year older and even more aggressive. (This was in self defence of course)
Another thing to consider is the premise. Do I choose an animal and the animal is not aware of the danger? Is it aggressive towards me in the normal range of its species? Does the animal try to kill me with all of its power?
If I hear of people grabbing animals by the neck and throwing them away I’d normally be concerned but if you tell me it was a Swan or a Goose I’m like yeah makes sense, they probably deserve it the aggressive little pricks.
There’s no way a single dude is dropping a horse with their bare hands.
Just wait it out. Domestic horses are good at dropping themselves.
How many dudes do you think it would take?
I say it takes at least 5 average humans to put a horse in the ground without weapons. And if the horse is also fighting to the death you’re losing a couple people for sure.
Source: my entire ass
Source: my entire ass
OP is talking about horses, not donkeys. Also, I hope your donkey wasn’t harmed in the process of getting this information.
Ill need a pic of the source for reference.
I agree with your ass
All you have to do is snap its neck, just jump on it and hang from it.
I don’t think jumping on it while it’s fighting you will be easy at all, unless you’re jumping down from a structure at the right time and have balls of steel
Animals I have beaten in a fight:
Feral dogs.
Feral dogs likely mixed with eastern coyote. I cheated though, I shot them.
Animals that have beaten me in a fight:
Geese.
A catfish (in my defense, it was massive and the fight was in the water. On land I would have won)
Humans.
Animals I have run from rather than fight:
Hornets.
Bears. Black bear, we startled each other, then I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.
A big pack of dogs. Wasn’t armed, and saw them coming.
My record is not exactly impressive
I mean it’s better than something truly shit like “I once accidentally stepped on a hamster”.
It was no accident.
I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.
Wow, sexy bear, huh?
Awww yeeeeahhhh!
I have about the same. Ran from a snapping turtle in the cumberland river near nashville. Was fishing. Saw what amounts to a dinosaur floating by and … noped the heck out of there.
Oh, no way am I going near a snapper in the water. hell no
Now, on land, I’ve had to move some off of roads before, but on land they aren’t as agile. They’re fast in the water though
for sure! ha. those TN rivers are totally unknown to yankees from new england like me too.
A goose? I was going to say it was one of the animals I could beat in a fight considering how fragile birds are in general.
Yeah, seriously. When I was a preteen my mother loved to go feed bread to ducks at the lake (I know, but it was free). More than once I had a goose think it was hot shit and hiss at me, and they, like people, never have a plan for when they get popped in the beak.
I hated doing it, but I wasn’t about to be chased off by an uncooked holiday dinner.
I’m going to copy/paste my response to a similar comment:
You know, people underestimate how difficult it is to grab a goose that’s flapping and pecking at your head
You can’t keep your eyes open, unless you just enjoy having them poked by feathers or beaks. That isn’t about pain, it’s about the reality of eye injury being a very bad thing.
There’s tricks we used in jujutsu that make use of that reflex. You make fast movements towards the eyes, particularly if you can get close enough to make air hit the eyes from the movement, and the eyes are closing, period. You can be ready for it, watching it come, and you’ll still at least blink. It isn’t voluntary.
Sure, you could stand there with your eyes closed, waiting for a chance to grab the bird that’s battering you. It isn’t going to kill you, it can’t unless it gets really lucky and catches your carotid just right. But, while you’re groping for that neck, you’re getting your face bruised and scratched up. Punching or slapping doesn’t do anything because they just move with it.
So, it’s easier to give the bird what it wants: you away from its nest.
My rule is anything smaller than my knees is gettin it’s ass kicked. I’ve got strong legs and decent form while kicking, and so far haven’t found a creature that size I couldn’t fend off with a good hit. So far that’s mostly meant wild dogs and a goose.
Crocodile?
Damn this is a good point. I’ve never been anywhere where they’d be an issue.
I’ve always heard they’re quite slow on land though, is that true? If so, yeah I’m pretty sure it won’t like getting stomped really hard from behind.
I’m also not sure if I’m counting it if the animal is very long. The technical formula is total volume of animal > height to my knee, so I’d only try to kick a baby to juvenile croc. I don’t think my kicks would do much good to like a 300lb crocodile as long as I am tall.
They can go pretty fast over short distances.
But yeah, you could probably take a baby, assuming momma isn’t around.
Cool if I quote you on that?
As long as you film yourself fighting the baby croc.
I’ve played with them at the zoo. Bitey, but squishier than you’d think. Does that count?
Idk, playing with them isn’t quite fighting them. Did you at least sneak up on them before playing?
Wild boar has used tusk to knee. It is really effective!
if a wild boar is shorter than like a foot and a half ig I’ll have to grit my teeth and take a stabbing. I’m pretty sure that would have to be a baby or juvenile boar though, and as a general rule I think I can kick any babies.
anything smaller than my knees
How big are your knees?
I mean like total volume of creature > height of my knee.
Honeybadger
I mean I’d try, and almost certainly get my leg fucked up in the process. Thankfully, I don’t think I’m likely to ever encounter one in the wild, and I hope that I’d be able to resolve the situation peacefully if I ever did.
Nope. You can’t.
A goose? You’re scary!
he better be riding the horse over a rocky steep incline and not actually trying to fight it. why do they go for big animals? I can take a cat. maybe. most birds native to North America.
A cat can be nasty. If it goes straight for your eyes with its sharp claws you are fucked… If you manage to kick it properly first, then it’s fucked. I think the outcome of the fight can really be black or white.
So I assume that doesn’t count condors or eagles?
What’s the girl equivalent of this? I’d like to have some conversations with my wife that don’t send her off on list-making/plan-making expeditions or remind her of something she wanted to research on the internet.
“What do you want to eat tonight?”
NO
“Which one of your friends could you take in a fight?”
Try the same question. Maybe just a slightly smaller horse. Prep-time negotiable.
Unarmed, I think I could comfortably defeat almost any four legged creature that stands lower than my knee.
I want to see you fight a crocodile.
I was very clear when I said almost
Ffff… scrblmlmlblm chewing noises
Let’s say it was reasonable to 1v1 a horse.
I wanna know what a lone horse does to prepare for a fight, that turns the tables from winning to losing…
You can sneak up on a horse or suckerpunch it. If it gets prep time it knows it has to fight immediately and you are fucked
If it gets prep time it knows it has to fight immediately
How? It’s a horse. It’s not like you can coach a horse…
‘you see that guy over there, he’s gonna come throw hands in 45min. You better be ready horse’
That horse won’t know/understand it’s fighting until the human takes the first swing; unless they run at the horse screaming like a maniac…
You’ve never spent time around horses
I grow out my nails for acoustic guitar so I technically always have a weapon for eye gouging. After blinding the beast I’d go after their throat as hard and as many times as I can while trying to keep distance where possible. It would never work on obvious human killing machines like tigers, gorrilas, bears, etcetera, but it might be helpful on a wolf or anything I can get my arms around. I’m getting older and don’t have the stamina for fighting that I used to though so I’ll probably die.
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What’s a horse going to do with prep time? Grow opposable thumbs and learn how to use tools?
Run? You can’t beat the horse if you can’t catch up to it.
Cut to the horse doing a Rocky IV training montage
