• Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
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    7 days ago

    I’d be such a bitch in an ancient battle. Yeah, I love the idea of roaring and swinging a weapon around whilst hulking in armor (except you know I’d be the guy who got a quilted gambeson at best), but I am so afraid of being sliced or pulverized. Imagine being in a simple knife fight. That’s terrifying enough. And let’s say you survive the first fight without getting your arm cleaved off or the head of an axe buried snug into your ribcage. Now what? Count your blessings and move on to the next guy within swinging range? Roll the dice on that desperate monster with a frantic look in his eye and hope you don’t catch a glaive in the meantime? And say you beat him and the others? You survive the battle with manageable wounds and have to worry about the next one? Fuck that, dude. I’d be desserting on day one to live as a hermit in the woods. King can eat me arse. I’d rather live with the crones of Crookback Bog.

    • 5in1k@lemmy.zip
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      7 days ago

      Casualties don’t get bad until a retreat. You hold that fucking line.

      • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        You also hold that fucking line even if your enemy appears to be running away. So many ancient battles were lost by over-pursuing a broken foe in the center and then getting annihilated in the flanks.

    • BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      thats why vikings would take shrooms before battle. absolutely no fear and if they die who cares im going to valhalla now later suckers

    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      You’d be like an extra in Braveheart. There’s one scene in that movie where Mel is giving an impassioned speech about free lunches or something and in the background behind his head you can see one extra like fifty feet away from everybody else aimlessly waving a piece of white foam around. If George Lucas had directed Braveheart, that shit would have been removed a long time ago.