Yes, people can sometimes tell how you are feeling by observing you. I get that it’s an uncomfortable idea, but it isn’t always just “a guess that makes them feel good”. It is possible to have an actual skill or talent for reading other people’s current mental state or emotions, just not if you’re a Lemmy user.
There’s reading emotions and then there’s claiming you entirely feel other people’s emotions and are so confident in it that you insist the other person is lying about their feelings.
I’m going to preface this by saying that I don’t challenge people on their feelings, I just observe closely.
The line is kinda blurred since a ton of people are lying to themselves about their feelings, something I’m not immune from either. Anger is a common one that’s quite often a mask for fear or anxiety.
That’s fair, but I think it’s vital to frame it internally as you suspecting that there are deeper emotions at play here. At the end of the day the person in question is the ultimate authority on their emotions. A lot of so called empaths see all the deeper emotions that they want to see and more or less ignore what they don’t want or expect to see. Furthermore you’re likely rife with false positives.
Like I’m not discounting that people can observe deeper emotions, a good therapist is able to notice them and lead you to them. But people with hypervigilance often are the ones claiming that they’re “empaths” (ie see and instinctively feel other people’s emotions) and these traits can correlate with the behavior described above.
People that are good at reading emotions are wrong about the reason/cause a significant portion of the time. Like noticing someone is uncomfortable doesn’t make the reason for being uncomfortable obvious.
Reading emotional cues is a basic human sense. Otherwise we would not be naturally tribal. If you discovered you could read emotions past the age of 5, there is likely something atypical about you neurologically.
People can sometimes tell how they themselves feel by observing others while injecting wild assumptions born from severe anxiety where they imagine scenarios.
Meet one of my exes. he decided my agency didn’t count in any of the decisions he imposed on me.
He called it empathic. I called it abusive. He later called it anxiety. It was abusive.
basic communication using good old fashion sounds coming out of the mouth and forming words to clear the air like an adult capable of respect for another adult is heavily underrated.
Oh yeah, people that call themselves empaths tend to mostly just be narcissists in my experience. Other people having agency and feelings and their own internal life makes them so uncomfortable and they decide to call that “empathy” rather than what it is.
Have you heard of this book and movement called “non violent communication”? It discusses the downfalls of ‘prediction’ and how to clearly speak personal needs and the value of having fair ground in relationships with a healthier way of communicating with the people you love.(because listening is love too)
Yes, people can sometimes tell how you are feeling by observing you. I get that it’s an uncomfortable idea, but it isn’t always just “a guess that makes them feel good”. It is possible to have an actual skill or talent for reading other people’s current mental state or emotions, just not if you’re a Lemmy user.
There’s reading emotions and then there’s claiming you entirely feel other people’s emotions and are so confident in it that you insist the other person is lying about their feelings.
I’m going to preface this by saying that I don’t challenge people on their feelings, I just observe closely.
The line is kinda blurred since a ton of people are lying to themselves about their feelings, something I’m not immune from either. Anger is a common one that’s quite often a mask for fear or anxiety.
That’s fair, but I think it’s vital to frame it internally as you suspecting that there are deeper emotions at play here. At the end of the day the person in question is the ultimate authority on their emotions. A lot of so called empaths see all the deeper emotions that they want to see and more or less ignore what they don’t want or expect to see. Furthermore you’re likely rife with false positives.
Like I’m not discounting that people can observe deeper emotions, a good therapist is able to notice them and lead you to them. But people with hypervigilance often are the ones claiming that they’re “empaths” (ie see and instinctively feel other people’s emotions) and these traits can correlate with the behavior described above.
Everyone lies to themselves about something.
true enough, I was just going off the text of the meme rather than the popular notions around “empaths”
People that are good at reading emotions are wrong about the reason/cause a significant portion of the time. Like noticing someone is uncomfortable doesn’t make the reason for being uncomfortable obvious.
Excuse me but I am perfectly capable of telling when I’m being thrown out of a restaurant or orgy.
well the buffet at the orgy is always on point so just skip the restaurant next time is my advice.
Reading emotional cues is a basic human sense. Otherwise we would not be naturally tribal. If you discovered you could read emotions past the age of 5, there is likely something atypical about you neurologically.
People can sometimes tell how they themselves feel by observing others while injecting wild assumptions born from severe anxiety where they imagine scenarios.
Meet one of my exes. he decided my agency didn’t count in any of the decisions he imposed on me.
He called it empathic. I called it abusive. He later called it anxiety. It was abusive.
basic communication using good old fashion sounds coming out of the mouth and forming words to clear the air like an adult capable of respect for another adult is heavily underrated.
I’m saddened and grateful I’m not the only one here who associates the term with abusers.
Oh yeah, people that call themselves empaths tend to mostly just be narcissists in my experience. Other people having agency and feelings and their own internal life makes them so uncomfortable and they decide to call that “empathy” rather than what it is.
Have you heard of this book and movement called “non violent communication”? It discusses the downfalls of ‘prediction’ and how to clearly speak personal needs and the value of having fair ground in relationships with a healthier way of communicating with the people you love.(because listening is love too)
https://www.cnvc.org/
Also worth reading the 10 forms of twisted thinking (prediction/mindreading is one of them) https://www.counselinglibrary.org/images/PDF_Documents/CBT_Handouts/10_Forms_of_Twisted_Thinking.pdf
5b - Mindreading “Reading” others’ thoughts
Description: Anxiety/sadness/anger,
Impact: assuming the worst
Replacement: Clear communication
yep it’s a great topic, someone in my family actually got their degree in that exact topic