• python@lemmy.world
    5·
    7 days ago

    Just one 🤷 I’ve always been picky, so anyone who’d get that far would be someone I could see working out long-term. We’re in our 7th year together now.

  • spacegoat@lemmy.world
    191·
    8 days ago

    More than 20. I disagree that it makes it less meaningful. But I have learned that there are many women who are bad at sex. It’s not just men.

    • nomad@infosec.pub
      6·
      8 days ago

      Agreed. The worst once are those who think sex is a thing only men want and swear they have no need at all and don’t know what they want or like.

      • spacegoat@lemmy.world
        6·
        8 days ago

        My absolute pet peeve is women who don’t know how to get themselves off. I’m willing to put in the work, but if she doesn’t even know what works for her, then it’s never going to work.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.todayEnglish
        6·
        8 days ago

        I got one, my second to last partner. I blame “squirting” becoming a thing. She would push so hard to pee to make it seem like she was squirting that she would push me out every minute or so.

    • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      7·
      8 days ago

      Did you get a lot of regulars?

      I did phone booth cards (yes, I’m old), personals, and parties at various points but most was repeat customers … I had friends who worked at a massage parlour, and it sounded like a completely different world

        • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          6·
          7 days ago

          lol, I’m in Asia at the moment doing contract work, and was chatting with a young coworker this morning … he was genuinely put out by the way the local girls did fishing in the clubs (they’re subtle as a brick), and the way they stuck rigidly to time limits. Bless his heart. I have no fucking idea why he thought that was a suitable conversation to have with me, but he’s needed some head pats and encouragement, so maybe it was just pressure release.

          Back in the day I happily handed over all the negotiations to my then-girlfriend for most of the time I was doing that work, because I was always shit at that too. She was a nasty piece of work, but a total rottweiler with the men.

          Sounds like your brothel and my friends’ massage parlour were pretty different, but then it was in an area with itinerant workers and no tourists - it seemed like every week one of the girls got knocked around or had to leave the room. I never had problems, but did lose a couple of friends.

          Glad to say my regulars were almost all older guys who wanted a bit of mothering, as much as to get off. After I retired I kept my favourite one on for a couple more years. I think I needed him, it was comfortable.

          What was the fetish stuff you did? Was it any fun?

          • ᓚᘏᗢ@piefed.socialEnglish
            6·
            7 days ago

            We had a few slightly older Thai and Korean girls at our shop for a bit, who were like that when it came to subtlety. They were fantastic negotiators though and regularly seemed to make bank upselling random bullshit to guys.

            I had a double booking with one of them once and spent much of it trying to keep my mouth busy so I wouldn’t be keeled over laughing while she was basically rincing this guys wallet of cash selling him her kegal exercises (and he fucking paid her too. The massive Samoan guy standing outside the door was probably good insentive tho).

            Some of the fetish jobs were a lot of fun, one lovely older dude I saw a few times had a whole bunch of very expensive sex toys and ‘apparatus’ and was super into using them on others. Always a fun night.

            I also really enjoyed the handful of nights I did at this club that involved basically just edging tied up guys in front of people. The guy running that event was super creepy towards me though, like I’d start feeling unsafe the moment he even entered the room type of creepy. I blocked the club from messaging me again after he escalated things.

            The rest of the fet stuff I did wasn’t anywhere near as fun tbh. I stopped avertising for it on my profiles after one guy got violent, luckily he still paid me but the bruising it left me with was bad.

            Also waaay too many guys want to be pissed on.

            • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              3·
              7 days ago

              Wow, I wish I could have learned the ropes from women like that, they sound fantastic!

              I only ever did lightweight s/m stuff - I have a posh accent that lends itself to telling people off very well, plus I’m naturally bossy, so I’d do school mistress sessions and the like, but only up to using a crop. I always fancied having a go at the heavier side (especially bondage), but wimped out … if I could find a compatible fem sub now, though, that would be so nice. Edging guys to an audience sounds like shooting fish in a barrel TBH, pity someone spoiled it for you :-/

              I only ever did watersports proper a couple of times - the smell and texture just turns my stomach, so refusing that was one of my early hard lines.

              Talking to you makes me feel like I was a rank amateur, lol

        • Crackhappy@lemmy.worldEnglish
          4·
          7 days ago

          The only time I ever used the services of a sex worker was after my wife passed away. We didn’t have sex, we just cuddled naked for an hour and I cried all over her. It was quite healing for me, as she had really huge boobs, like my wife did.

  • LouNeko@lemmy.world
    171·
    9 days ago

    Zero. I’m over 30. Who decided to make us so stupidly resilient, I want to fucking die already.

    (Those things are only marginally related)

    • LouNeko@lemmy.world
      201·
      8 days ago

      I wish there was like a Craigslist for life.

      Offering roughly 40 years of life remaining.

      • Teeth slightly crooked but all still original from manufacturer (missed a service intervall in 2014).

      • Hair at roughly 80% capacity.

      • Glasses have to replaced every 3-4 years.

      • Used to have “Eat what ever you want, never gain weight” package, but the subscription ran out (not offered anymore).

      • Back pain set in a few years ago but still managable.

      • Doesn’t like arugula, coriander or chocolate above 60%

      • Addicted to sugar

      • No job and 1.73 GPA Bachelors.

      • ADHD bundled with Depression included

        Genuenly, from the bottom of my heart, something, take me the fuck out. I’ll take pancreatic cancer at this point as long as it’s certain death.

        • ᓚᘏᗢ@piefed.socialEnglish
          71·
          8 days ago

          Ngl I sometimes really wish I was wasn’t such a misanthrope and more predisposed to cultish behaviour.

          Some Jim Jones motherfucker taking the reigns with fruity drinks and the company of all my new cult freinds, would be so, so nice.

          I barely even enjoy talking to people online anymore though, so like fuck am I going to be putting myself out there irl and networking to find the right cult.