Everyone happier than me should perish
Easy there with the global genocide.
I kid, I kid - very sweet and adorable.
After 24 years of marriage, my wife… seems to find me acceptable.
I call that a win
I do too. Most people don’t find me acceptable.
You’re more than adequate !! just slightly more
You flatterer, you.
I constantly ask my wife… “Bruh are you sure?”
I find you very acceptable.
I want to feel this way…
That’s limerence.
A more stable relationship is when feelings crystalize, but until then, there’s limerence. Two-way limerent relationships are as unstable as a bottle of undiluted nitroglycerin. In any case, limerent relationships are quite common, and are the stuff of music, art, and poetry.
Limerence eh? Well ok.
There once was a man from Nantucket…
I want you to finish it. No one ever finishes it. I don’t even know the rest of the limerick because no one ever finishes it!
I know a different version from the other two:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who put all his shit in a bucket
And one day he tripped
And the bucket, it flipped
And he said “ah well fuck it”
God lemmy is worse than reddit with people being negative about others happiness. If you are so unhappy you need to spoil other peoples happiness you need to get help.
The guy’s sharing information, it’s all cool
A central feature of limerence for Tennov was the fact that her participants really saw the object of their affection’s personal flaws, but simply overlooked them or found them attractive.[32][28] Tennov calls this “crystallization”, after a description by Stendhal in his 1821 treatise On Love. This “crystallized” version of a love object, with accentuated features, is what Tennov calls a “limerent object”, or “LO”.[33]
For Tennov, sexual desire is an essential aspect of limerence[34] but the desire for emotional commitment is greater.[35] The sexual desires of Tennov’s interviewees were overshadowed by their desire for their beloved to contact them, invite them out and reciprocate their passion.[30]
Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often derided and dismissed as undesirable, some kind of pathology, ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.[36]
The wiki page you linked is saying kind of the opposite about crystalization then what you are saying.
Exactly how I feel about my wife.
Right there with ya bud
I feel the same about his wife too!
If I can quote a thing: happiness isn’t having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.
Points to anyone who can name the source without using Google.
My partner and I are like this. We’ve been together for 14 years and are legit best friends.
I have a feeling too many people paired off right away and decided their first serious relationship was the one, and never actually found an equal. Maybe they married more out of fear of being alone rather than actual desire, or they just can’t tell the difference between sexual novelty and love.
Even a lot of my married friends start identifying more with boomer humor than romance after 2 or 3 years. Way too many communication issue, or ideas of traditional roles or how things ‘should be’ leading to resentment or exasperation.
Court long and marry late. And don’t hide your real self when dating.
I dunno. Dating long can bring its own gigantic bag of issues. You will have to build every relationship from the start. If you have a bag of expectations, fears, maybe even hard trauma that you project onto the relationship early on, it will make it more difficult to build the relationship.
“Oh my god he is not answering the phone. He is probably cheating on me right now how ex#3 did.”
“She said she loves me after only week three of us having a thing. This is just like crazy ex#5.”
“He didn’t say he loves me after its been four weeks already. He is probably only affectionate now but will turn cold and distant like ex#4.”
But those are all personality traits you need to discover and address before you’re married. If you’re the one bringing those concerns, you need to get yourself in check before jumping into long term relationships.
And here I am, divorced and never marrying again, lucky to be dating the same girl for eight years. And then there’s that one day every few years where she runs out of her meds and begins believing I’m plotting against her when I ask how her mom is doing that I think, “I’m super glad I didn’t get married again so I can just walk away if this shit lasts more than a few days.”
That’s love. Staying with someone, not because you’re married and a divorce is a huge legal hassle, but because they haven’t freaked all the way the fuck out yet.
PS, make friends with your pharmacist, fellow BPSOs. Make sure they keep those mood stabilizers and antipsychotic in stock.
“I’m super glad I didn’t get married again so I can just walk away if this shit lasts more than a few days.”
I’m glad you didn’t get remarried too.
Yep. They were probably joking, or at the least exaggerating, but it reminds me of how a large percentage of men would leave their partner going through a medical crisis. Not all medical crisises are physical, yo.
Cute. I don’t believe any part of this, but it’s cute.
Yeah, it gives big “Where are the females like this?” energy, I can definitely see it being written by a lonely chauvinist dirtball. I hope not because it is cute, but the Internet is the Internet, so…
It’s…weird to me that not only is this not true for you guys or anyone you know, but you have a hard time imagining it could be true.
Every single long term relationship I’ve ever been witness to has been defined by either eventual resentment between partners, or a pervasive sense of apathy between them. The people I’ve seen who really “make it last” aren’t affectionate towards one another after being together for decades: they’re codependent. One person supports another person’s narcissism and the other person facilitates their partner’s alcoholism. That sort of thing.
On a more fundamental level, I’m not sure I even believe that the concept of lifelong partners or lifelong marriage is natural for human beings. Being a part of a community, sure, but being emotionally attached to the same person in the same way forever? Not really. I think it’s in our nature to constantly grow, and that typically means growing apart. In fact, that might be a lot healthier for people than the alternative.
We’re planning our 30th anniversary party. We still flirt and are both best friends and lovers and don’t pass each other in a room without a caress or joke. I’m not bragging so much as to say it happens. Sometimes people keep the remnants of their initial crush and combine it with respect and lust for a whole lifetime. The Pheromones are very strong.
This warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart.
