Hello,
First of all I don’t really get the actual meaning of “please”. I understand it as it used to make a polite request. However I have rarely seen any westerner saying “please” on either Lemmy, Mastodon or IRC. where I live using “please” (मेहरबानी) is used often.
I say it often in my day to day life. I don’t use it much on Lemmy because I rarely ask anyone to do anything on here
There’s rarely a use for it online. It’s used to make a request, and a lot of online discourse is making statements.
Irl, it’s a lot more common
We say it out loud a lot. People seem to remember to be polite when not anonymous.
“Please” is used more in verbal or formal communication in English. I wouldn’t typically use it when writing a comment here as online comment sections are considered informal written communication. But I would always say it if I was asking a food service worker for something.
People say it in person a lot. Another factor might be that some people view it coming across as either non genuine or passive aggressive in written form.
Online discourse tends not to be the kind of place (in the English-speaking world) where “please” is the appropriate response.
I rarely use ‘seldom’
I only use it in writing when making direct requests. I say it quite often.
And you’re sure your criteria includes Canadians?
Or Britain?
Or anywhere ffs
Honestly. I genuinely have to fight to not say please and thank you.
where I live using “please” (मेहरबानी) is used often.
Bro where tf are you living 😂
I’m Indian too and have never come across anyone unironically using that word in daily conversations
It’s used mostly by strangers TBH, not by someone I already know.
I’m fanatical about saying please and thank you, and it drives me batty that others don’t. Someone offers you a snack, say no thank you, don’t say “no I don’t like those” like a goddamned toddler.
Online? No. It comes off as snarky.
In real life, and emails? All the time. Please and thank you.
In Australia in the aboriginal culture I was raised in, there is no word for please. We never used it growing up
We have a ward for thank you mah,
We say thank you but if you have something and can give it and someone asks you are obliged to provide.
In today’s world this causes many problems with money etc though.
They do/don’t?
Gonna need a source for this claim.
Gonna need a source for this claim, please.
They were not asking
Indeed. That’s why I didn’t also add a question mark.
Need is directly in opposition to please. This makes your addition an ironic use of please, and not a polite one, which actually fits the ops observation better than the initial comment did.
Maybe in some cases, but in this case the use of “need” is insincere in the first place. A please at the end softens and adds a little bit of humility to what was originally a somewhat hostile response.
This is very nuanced and could be difficult to understand, but the word please can have a negative context between people that are related, like with family, or when codependent such as housemates or coworkers. The word please can have a negative emphasis like nagging. As an example, one might say:
- Please take out the trash.
- Take out the trash! Please!
- PLEASE! TAKE, OUT, THE TRASH!
These are common forms of natural speech where the word please does not have the same meaning exactly. In the latter two examples, the word please is like a subtle way of saying, 'just do what I ask without further arguing.
The language and formalities greatly depend on where you live, the local culture, and the population density in that region. In rural parts of the USA, formalities are common, but often are very hallow in deeper meaning. For instance, in the Deep Southeastern USA, like Alabama, there is a common phrase ‘bless your heart.’ This phrase actually means, “I disagree and think that you are a fool,” but the meaning is like an unspoken truth and an inside joke at the same time. If you confront the phrase directly, the person will tell you they only meant the phrase positively, and they will make you look and feel like a fool for assuming it was said negatively. If you fail to realize the true meaning of the phrase, everyone that does know the meaning will see you as a fool. If you recognize the true nature of the statement, you are forced to rephrase your argument or agree to disagree.
The word please is most common in these rural cultures along with words like sir and ma’am. This language culture has a strong association with the conservative Right, religious extremism, deep prejudice, and toxic stupidity in the USA. That subculture association seems to impact the use of such linguistic formalities elsewhere in the country.
The word please still has a basic meaning of kindness among strangers or coworkers, but its formal use as a normative standard has a strong association with the worst of our subcultures in the USA. The second I hear someone talking like that, I immediately distrust them like seeing a person walk into a bank wearing a trenchcoat and a ski mask.
