• qyron@sopuli.xyz
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    3 days ago

    I feel the need to put this on its head.

    What if the girl, after whatever time they spent relaxing realized she truly enjoyed his company and decided she wanted to keep him as someone she can spend time as a person and not a sexual object?

    • Pup Biru@aussie.zone
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      3 days ago

      i will never understand the inability for people not to have amazing sex with their friends

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        3 days ago

        I don’t want to have sex with my friends. I know where they’ve been.

        Anyway people’s relationships are complicated, there’s plenty of people I like who I do not find attractive.

      • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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        3 days ago

        Somewhere along the line, when you finally meet the person that truly meets all your expectations for a life together, your friend:

        • Have they told you we used to fuck?
        • Pup Biru@aussie.zone
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          1 day ago

          And any partner of mine in that situation would be like cool… 3some? And everyone has fun

        • Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          Oh no my current partner has had sex before with someone and they are grown up enough to still be able to talk with them. /s

          But for real though, it is more a green flag for me than a red flag.

          • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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            3 days ago

            The above is oversimplified and written to elicite a chuckle but most people aren’t that comfortable with having another human being (I don’t discriminate; just aiming for the most probable scenario) their significant other used to pork on a more or less distant past staying around. Most will have doubts about their relationship and its heading. Or even worst.

            Monkey brain and pride computes around “If they porked in the past, did they stop completely or is it a come and go situation?” Humans are strange creatures.

            • Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works
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              2 days ago

              Definitely agree with the humans are strange creatures. Wasn’t also specifically pointing at you and indeed more the general consensus.

              • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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                2 days ago

                I just understood there was room and need for me to clarify my position and view, so I took the chance.

                But we are, indeed, a strange bunch.

            • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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              3 days ago

              pork

              🤢🤮

              Why do some men think that is an acceptable term for sex? It’s so degrading. Or is that the point, to compare sex to fucking a piece of meat?

              • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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                3 days ago

                That was you’ll take away from that comment?

                They make a fairly good point that you seem to be ignoring

              • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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                3 days ago

                Pick whatever synonym you prefer and read it in place of.

                I personally dislike “fuck”; sounds purely physical and unemotional, aggressive, quasi mechanical, like scratching an itch.

                While “porking” sounds silly, goofy, almost nonsensical. Something two people attracted and trusting of each other would blurt out as teasing.

                The first carries the same weight you vocalized on your reply for me, only that I don’t apply that disgust solely towards men. I can tolerate a “fuck” as an expletive towards anything in a figurative way (fuck the traffic, the car, the coffee being too hot, the iced tea too sweet, the dog peeing on the sofa, the cat throwing up on a shoe) but I sincerely dislike saying or hearing said “fuck” in the literal sense. It’s crude, rude, disrespectful towards the other.

                • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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                  3 days ago

                  Do women who you ‘pork’ like you refering to fucking thrm with that term?

                  • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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                    3 days ago

                    I only use euphemistics if there is an established relation and consent to it.

                    At some point in my life I was with someone that had a kink for being called by terms I consider demeaning towards any human being, so I openly refused to do so and explained why I did it. The relationship ended shortly after.

                    Because I see sex in a couple dynamic as a corner stone for a healthy relationship, I always strived to be open about talking regarding limits, dos and donts. I like enjoying myself before, while and after being with my partner and making sure my partner does as well and laughing and goofing around is an integral part of it.

                    So, if there is mutual trust to throw around some silly dirty talk, yes, to answer your question, I would.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      I’m betting that this is exactly what happened. That girl, in all probability, has been treated like meat most of her life. There’s a nontrivial chance that she’s a victim of some kind of abuse.

      So having a real connection to someone who doesn’t just treat you like meat, and is only interested in what she can do for/to them, is probably very different than the interactions she normally has.

      It’s sad, but likely true.

      • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        You just keep going on with that fantasy. I’m sure it’ll give you some enjoyment in the dark of the night.

        Meanwhile in the real world anons who treat girls like they’re some kind of sex vending machine don’t come off as friend material. Their intentions are very obvious. I think it more likely she just didn’t want repeat business.

    • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Then she apparently chose wrong cause that anon is an A class douche bag who only saw her as and easy way to get his rocks off.

      I think it more likely she just didn’t want repeat business from this particular customer. But who knows? (other than the girl of she’s not just a figment of a deranged imagination)

    • LANIK2000@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Considering that this kind of soft unspoken rejection is the same tactic women use to lose pickup “artists” and other perceived predators or just unwanted people, if in anon’s shoes, this is the moment I’d consider running away for my own peace of mind. In my experience, it’s a good idea to not stick around people that reject you on the basis of being “too good”.

      • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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        3 days ago

        Very roundabout way to do it.

        As I stated in another comment, even sex workers have the right to refuse a customer.

        From my perspective, this is the kind of approach/behavior that feeds stalkers and worst.

        • LANIK2000@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          I’m a bit confused by your comment, but I think we agree?

          Sex workers absolutely should reject someone if they don’t want to. But this kind of “hell yes, but fuck no” shenanigans just leads to a lot of headaches. I’d say in any context.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      she wanted to keep him as someone she can spend time as a person and not a sexual object?

      Not to put too fine a point on it, but you can do both. That’s the entire idea of having a boyfriend/girlfriend.

      • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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        3 days ago

        Yes and no.

        I swing more towards the direction of a non-sexual relationship of any kind.

        • qarbone@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Then I’d imagine you wouldn’t be a neighborhood prostitute and run an onlyfans.

          Although I shouldn’t presume.