I wouldn’t want to stay married to anyone who would play these kinds of mind games.
To be fair, it doesn’t have to be mind games, she could have been in a bad place and somehow figured out for herself that the best thing to do was to end the relationship, but realised that she was wrong. There are people who genuinely believe that they can make other peoples lives better by leaving them (a kind of “you would do better without me, I’m only pulling you down” mentality), that could do something like this not to manipulate the other person, but because they actually care about them, but are in a bad place themselves.
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Ah, the incels made it here too.
You know nothing of women
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Is the woman who “needed drama and new cocks as all do at 35” in the room with us now?
Le
Maybe she just dumb as hell?
Definitely seems poorly thought out from her part
Y’all need to talk more
Completely broken relationship for sure
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What a sad situation. I know a lot of people here think this is abuse and I can see their perspective, but I see this more as a relationship lacking communication. The wife didn’t feel assured that her husband loved her anymore and the divorce papers were a last ditch effort to see if he still does. Sure, just talking openly would be better, but goddamn is it hard to find people who can do that.
I think the fact that she broke down and tore up the papers immediately after is a sign that she really didn’t want to do it and was reacting to his genuine reply.
I think OOP needs couple’s therapy.
object original poster
Object oriented posting
original oriented poster.
orange otter pornography
Ornithological orangutan paraphernalia
I like this empathetic take.
Yeah this is a couple who haven’t really talked through their issues and may have some kind of executive dysfunction. A little time being very honest and crying through their own insecurities together would turn their lives around for the better. (executive dysfunction is a big word but common problem with anyone who has depression and/or anxiety. It just means you don’t have a solid distinction in your mind between what you want for yourself and your life, and how your feelings just run away with you and make small things huge obstacles.)
Nah once you’re at the point where you need couple’s therapy the relationship is over
Not at all. Couple’s therapy is just a place for identifying and resolving the issues in a relationship and is useful for when a couple is struggling to do exactly that. Third party intervention can provide a different perspective for those stuck looking at an issue from a specific angle.
Absolutely. I haven’t done it yet, but we’ve been on the edge of divorce several times. We’re in an ok spot right now. If you’ve ever been arguing with a partner and find yourself thinking “This person is totally fucking detached from reality”, then yeah the therapist would probably get your back. Just keep in mind they probably think the same about you sometimes. And they might be right.
This is fiction.
It takes a lot more than 3 days to finalize terms of the divorce. It usually takes longer than that just to get both of your lawyers to look over and approve it.
Even if these two people are both lawyers, and decided to represent themselves, you’d need a notary present when you’re signing.
Isn’t everything on anon just fiction?
Probably, but this is lazy fiction. How long does it take to search “how long does a divorce take?”
Suspension of disbelief :)
Yes. You’d be a fool to believe it.
Fully agree it’s a fiction, but couldn’t she have had the papers prepared weeks ahead?
Even if this guy was stupid enough not to run the agreement by his own lawyer, even if there’s no contested assets, etc, he still ain’t signing that thing without a notary.
…you’re boldly assuming they did it the right way.
Given that she’s the type to take it all back right after it’s signed, she probably just googled “real divorce papers” and found the best pdf and just printed it out.
More likely consulted chatgpt, both for relationship advice and divorce papers
I wonder how many relationships AI has already ruined
I’m finally sure that’s the sort of thing that AI would refuse to discuss. Even a true AI wouldn’t be the best at relationship advice since it has no real world references.
It would be like discussing your relationship advice with a gifted 15-year-old, sure they probably understand more science than you but they’ve got a clue about relationships.
I’ve never been married nor divorced, but I’ve heard friends talk about needing to “just bring him the paper to sign” I don’t know if they’re just stupid, or if there’s an option to just nullify the marriage. Granted these people were very poor and to my knowledge had shared literally nothing financially.
They’re either meeting at a notary, or using a traveling notary service that’ll come to you.
Here in Finland I believe there’s a mandatory 6-month separation period before you can divorce.
But also I’ve had 8 beers a gross amount of rum and glög, an ambien or two and all the weed. So… I may not be giving correct info rn. I believed I am, but you shouldn’t trust me.
Depends on the state in the US. I believe some of them require up to a year of separation.
Its like part of the plot of EEAAO. Where the husband gives the wife divorce papers in an attempt to get their marriage back on track…
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it’s always cuckoldry with you freaks
Such a weird obsession. Some people are shitty and infidelity can be terrible but to spend so much mental energy focusing on the humiliation and righteous anger part is bizarre. No one cares you were cucked. Women aren’t property and some of them suck. Everyone understands that some people suck. No one cares you were cucked.
This is dangerously close to a dr seuss poem…
Ned and Ted have a marriage bed
Monogamy is good for Ted
But many hungry holes has Ned
Ned shares the marriage bed
with other men not named Ted
Ted says Ned must quit their bed
Because of commitments that once were saidTed now sleeps alone it seems
For freedom Ned no longer dreams
The problem wasn’t that Ted was cucked
The problem is that Ned just suckedBravo
No one cares you were cucked.
Sounds like I have much better friends than you.
Christ you’re awful.
Yeah Christ is an awful cunt
“The bond is broken, I said!” You can’t unspeak the words.
So… if anon took those papers and just taped them back together, would they still be legally binding if submitted?
Would this depend on the jurisdiction/country? I’ve never thought seriously about whether tearing up signed legal documents constitutes a refutation after they’re signed. (a pile of torn-up papers doesn’t carry any proof of which, either or both, parties agreed to the tearing-up). And thankfully never been in a situation where this question would arise. Also assuming ‘tearing up’ wasn’t enough to prevent taping them back into a mostly-complete state.
I believe filling out the divorce paperwork doesn’t actually make it happen, it’s just an application for divorce.
It has to be filed with the court and a hearing held to make sure it’s all good and then the judge does the thing and you’re divorced.
Mostly this is a rubber-stamping type situation, and the judge mostly makes sure that asset division is done fairly and any children are cared for.
If no one has objections, the money is simple and everyone agrees, and there’s no children the whole thing is relatively simple.So filling out or destroying the paperwork doesn’t actually do anything.
A signature doesn’t offer much proof of which party signed a paper either.
The security mechanisms we use in this society are a joke.
Talking of course would have been better, but I have a sneaky suspicion that this was not the first time she brought it up. I think the first one, he didn’t “care,” and she thought making it seem more serious would prompt some action. I think she was hoping it would be a catalyst for talking/change and not just, “Well, it’s been swell.” Like, ma’am, he doesn’t care. You told this man you fell out of love with him and he didn’t seem to care. Then you present him with divorce papers and he signs them willingly, as well as saying that the bond is broken. You ran out crying because he’s said very clearly that he doesn’t care, doesn’t want to “fight” for you, and did not react at all from the first time you brought it up until you gave him the papers. No “Oh my god, are you serious?” or “Can we talk?,” hell, he didn’t even bring up his own grievances. So now you take a nap on the couch, debating on uprooting your life for someone who at least seems vaguely interested in you, or staying with someone who is seemingly indifferent to you and your grivenances as he’s like “lol, women are so weird” on the internet.
Again, not saying her actions were the most rational, but humans aren’t always rational. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we just want to know that our presence matters, and that sometimes leads us to make mistakes. Sad for them both.
It’s fake tho. I mean it’s 4chin the wife is an hallucination
Even made up women can’t escape the patriarchy! /s
“I don’t understand women.”
Whenever someone has an issue with an SO, then extrapolates that to all women… that’s a red flag to me that this guy has a lot more misogynistic views just outside the frame of view.
It is unfortunately common. Pretty much all of the guys I know IRL complain about their SOs with “Pft. Women, right?” And I’m sitting here like… No? Maybe that’s just your SO? Or just your SO when they’re with you?
What if they don’t understand all women? Why do you extrapolate your personal experience to all people… That’s a red flag to me.
This presupposes that men and women are fundamentally and irreconcilably different. I just don’t think that’s true, based on both my experiences and the psychological data I’ve reviewed throughout my life.
It is unfortunately common. Pretty much all of the guys I know IRL base their conclusions on experiences and the psychological data they’ve reviewed throughout their lives. And I’m sitting here like… No? Maybe that’s just your limited psychological data? Or just your subjective experiences?
I’m honestly not sure what point you’re trying to convey, but that’s alright.
But best of luck out there.
Women aren’t even real, calm down.
How could I possibly calm down? Who am I married to then? Fuck!
(That was me joining the joke for anybody who might not get that otherwise.)
Accept it: You are gay now. Resistance is futile /s
Time to embrace my gay side, for sure.
Women and men do have a different way of thinking the majority of the time. It’s about learning to cope with and deal with the other one’s feeling. If you want a woman, you have to be willing to deal with woman moments. If you want a man, you have to be willing to deal with man moments. Simple. Relationships cannot be perfect.
As an AMAB who is vaguely uncomfortable enough with the gender binary to use he/they pronouns but still presents masc in every context — I have met many people of all and no genders who think so completely differently to me it’d be better to use zodiac signs than gender markers to divide personalities (and no I don’t think astrology is real).
Men and women have tendencies and subculture, sure. But they’re not mutually unintelligible if you make even a little effort to try and understand the other side as fundamentally human people. For example, by listening to them and taking their positions seriously (even if the specific situation does not call for believing every factual claim).
I think we mostly agree here, just with slightly different framing.
Exactly, you cannot be a good spouse and not take your partner’s opinion seriously just because “pffft women/men”
And this case like most relationship issues comes down to insecurities and bad/non-existent communication. To which, let’s face it, male socialization is a major contributor.
With stoicism and a fear of vulnerability, we’re far too often standing standing in our own way.
That is unfortunately the tendency for men, yeah.
Not sure why you got downvoted because I had the same reaction when I read it. This is your spouse and treating her request for divorce and obvious associated emotional distress as something related to her gender rather than the specifics of your relationship seems incredibly dismissive and misogynistic.
Who knows, lol. But I’m more than happy to engage with people who disagree, so long as it remains relatively civil.
I’ve had plenty of gender-coded miscommunication with my wife over the years. But that’s far, far outweighed by more individual differences (like neurotypical v neurodivergent, mismatched communication habits, and mismatched expectations from how we were raised. Hell even just regional differences.
And when it comes to the other married guys I know, I’ve provided advice (upon request) that basically boiled down to (1) you don’t “win” a marriage, (2) treat her like a partner not an adversary (even if she’s treating you adversarially for now), and (3) be open and vulnerable when you can. It’s amazing how many of them have just… never once heard that advice from anyone else their whole life. Wild out here.
It’s not misogynistic to admit you have trouble communicating with women.
Do you think that’s what’s happening (both in my example but also the OP greentext)? That they’re admitting they have trouble communicating?
I could see a literal interpretation of “I don’t understand women” as a standalone sentence being reasonably interpreted that way, sure. But given the context, I think that’s really unlikely.
I think they’re expressing frustration about not being able to communicate with women, and I think it’s easy to misinterpret that frustration as aggression or misogyny.
To be fair, I don’t mean like, raging, beating your wife misogyny. Just the standard kind that results in overgeneralizing and venting in this particular way.
The behavior described seems like either (1) the wife has big attachment and insecurity issues (maybe a personality or mood disorder) or (2) the anon has major, major communication issues (essentially driving the wife to desperate measures she might not have gone to otherwise). In either case, these are extremes. And extremes really shouldn’t be generalized to the whole gender population, y’know? I can’t think of anything BUT some amount of misogyny that would lead to that type of generalization.
A lot of men genuinely have trouble communicating with all women (beyond superficial day-to-day interactions). I don’t think that’s misogynistic, I think it’s a symptom of a bigger problem in society. Boys aren’t taught how to interact with women, and when they fall back to what they were taught about interacting with other men they quickly get themselves in trouble.
I don’t really disagree with your overall point, I just think that’s being way over generous to the anon here.
Like, do you think talking to your wife like she was a dude is really the only thing at play here?
No. Since you asked, I think the communication issues are most likely caused by both people involved, not just the man. I think the wife (in the OP) was expressing her own frustration when she suggested divorce, then felt like she had to follow through with it when OOP didn’t react the way she wanted/expected him to. It sounds like neither person in that relationship is communicating effectively.
The behavior of the wife in the OP would never be exhibited by a man, right? So calling it a “women” thing isn’t inaccurate.
Your reply extrapolates OP to mean all women. Which is exactly like when a woman makes a claim about men and men in the comments reply “not all men!” You’re doing that.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding your point, but I could see a man doing what the wife in the greentext did. It wouldn’t fit the stereotypes we have of dudes, but yeah I think it’s possible.
Including the crying and ripping it up?
Really?
In that sequence?
Horseshit.
I mean… what about those actions is impossible for a guy to do?
No one said it’s impossible, but it wouldn’t happen.
I said I think it’s possible. You said “horseshit”. Not sure what you mean other than it’s impossible for a man to do that.
I’m not saying it’s super likely or anything like that. But given this is pretty far off the path from my original comment, I’ll just drop it here.
Best of luck out there.
You don’t think a man has ever tried to use divorce as a threat to change his spouses behavior?
The whole sequence, not just that one part of it.
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☕ women
Moids really will just believe a made up story on the internet and then say shit like this. After all, the first thing you gotta remember about any greentext is that it’s fake and that anon is gay.
