There may be an age or generational explanation for this, but I especially notice this behavior on Reddit while not nearly as much here on Lemmy (though maybe that’s also a mater of implementation).
It seems many are so quick to assert overly-confident positions, but then hit-and-run with some smarmy remark at even the slightest challenge, then quickly block. Like, not even crazy stuff. Just basic, civil disagreements. I can pretty well predict when it will happen, and it always feels like such a petty ego-sparing fingers-in-ears denial thing to do, and to me if anything shows they were not very confident in their views being challenged.
I think I’ve only blocked a handful of people over a decade who were actively spamming, stalking, or spewing extremely hateful rhetoric and I just reported them simultaneously. You have to cross a pretty extreme and irrational line for me to do that.
The reason I ask is to see if I’m missing something; to better understand the mindset of those who do.
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Life is too short to deal with weirdos treating lemmy as their blog. Some are overzealous but you have to curate your own space on federated platforms
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I love that term curate. I find it funny that people don’t like blocking but are fine with subscribing. Subscribing and only looking at subscribing is akin to blocking everything else. Blocking and perusing all means you will come across new communities you don’t want to block.
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I block the moment I realize someone is a troll, or worse. No exception.
Like already mentioned, life is way too short to waste one more second of it with those people desire to be as harmful as they can be or with their constant need for attention and validation.
Edit: typos
Sometimes things are not as they seem due to language barriers or different people from neurotypicals.
Otherwise there’s also a lot of shit going around, so it’s understandable.
Sometimes things are not as they seem due to language barriers or different people from neurotypicals.
Completely agree (even more so, not being a native English speaker myself). If there was any doubt, ‘the moment I realize’ doesn’t mean I instantly block anyone not agreeing with me or publishing something I would consider rude, or useless. Only that, the moment I made up my mind on who the person is, there is no hesitation.
Yes, I noticed that important part. Hence the likelyhood is high but still with a margin of error and not to anybodys fault.
I’ve also had situations where I gave second chances and was stumped, just confirming my prior judgement.
I’m not fully sure what I am trying to add but maybe just being human really is a dilemma and surprisingly hard.
I’m not fully sure what I am trying to add but maybe just being human really is a dilemma and surprisingly hard.
I think I understand what you’re trying to say and I agree. And, yes, it can be hard.
But I’m also probably much older than you (and, hopefully for you, in a much poorer health than you are) and I know my time is limited. Literally, I should have died years ago, it just happened I did not die and have since done my best to preserve what remained of my health. And that includes being fine with making decisions that are helping me waste as little of my time as possible.
A bit like with all the books I will not read, or the movies I will not watch, or the places I will never go (realizing the climatic nightmare we were heading into, some 25 years or so ago, my spouse and I decided to stop traveling by plane and to do our best to reduce our energy consumption and the amount of waste we generate by changing our way of life). So, obviously, we’re missing out on a lot of stuff and nice places. But that’s OK. It’s a choice we made. It also helps focus a lot more on other great things we may not have even considered back then.
As far as potential ‘trolls’ are concerned, it’s a choice I made based on the time I think I have left and the amount of which I’m ok to spend dealing online with ‘maybe’ this or that perfect stranger that have not made the best first (or second) impression is worth indeed one more chance, and me spending a little more of my time listening to them. Frankly, its seldom worth it. Too much hatred (of this or that other person and/or group) and too much anger and desire to manipulate an audience, poorly disguised as ‘reasoning’, ‘facts’ or mere ‘information sharing’. I’d rather read a good book, listen to great music, or even better: spend that time with my spouse ;)
Good answer, thank you!
You’d be surprised though. These are the times I miss direct messages here. One of your estimates about me is wrong (factually, sadly) and the other is debatable, we might be close in age.
I just took another route. I am still in the process of what more and what less to do, while having discovered I am likely an Autist, setting hard limits at some places.
Ans yes, while there is much hate (currently seeming concentrated in the USA) people that open up often also have a lot of reason. Not defending anyones action here though.
You’d be surprised though. These are the times I miss direct messages here. One of your estimates about me is wrong (factually, sadly) and the other is debatable, we might be close in age.
Sorry to hear that (not referring to your age ;)
If you ever want to MP me the simplest way would be to check the blog (in my profile), on its contact page you will find an email
I just took another route. I am still in the process of what more and what less to do, while having discovered I am likely an Autist, setting hard limits at some places.
Limits are essentials. No matter how arbitrary they can be.
Ans yes, while there is much hate (currently seeming concentrated in the USA) people that open up often also have a lot of reason.
No doubt about that but spreading even more hate or anger is very unlikely to work as a remedy. It’s difficult, there is no escaping that alas.
There’s a verbal reference to your blog, but not the link. Or I’m stupid 😁
People are trying to ‘win the argument’ for personal satisfaction. They’re not trying to self-correct or seek the truth.
I think I’ve only blocked a handful of people over a decade
I’m the opposite; I have hundreds of people blocked, mostly because they are bores.
Another aspect of this that I’ve found is that engaging in benevolent smalltalk with someone here on Lemmy somehow sometimes results in them treating it as an argument.
No, I will not concede to whatever point you’re trying to make; I was making conversation, you were trying to win an argument. I don’t care if you’re convinced your particular approach to a particular problem is better than mine.
And if they then don’t realize that I’m not interested in engaging, and keep the “debate me bro” attitude, they usually end up on my blocklist, or at the very least they end up with a red tag behind their name.
No, u’r wrong 😜
Your mom likes me anyway
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That’s what she said!
Reddit made that change where if you blocked someone they couldn’t reply to you in a thread.
That was quickly weaponized so that you could ‘win’ an argument. Someone could write something and your reply would not appear, so it looked like you realized you were wrong.
Only way around this is editing your previous comment, though I’ve been told that can sometimes lead to a ban? Never happened to me though.
What really annoys me about that is that it prevents you from replying to anyone ELSE who replies to you in that thread, which is completely absurd.
for some reason ‘editing’ comments is considered horrible and awful.
i never understood that myself.
I don’t know about this “winning” theory.
Generally, people feel like they’ve won when they get the last word in. If you block someone, you don’t see their replies and assuming they do reply to your last comment, they would get the last word.
Personally, I block people when I realize there’s no point in continuing the conversation. I’m not trying to win an argument, I’m just over it and don’t want to interact with their toxicity.
If you block someone, you don’t see their replies
On both Reddit and Lemmy, blocking someone prevents them from replying. It prevents them from even seeing your final word*
* sort of. Depending on exactly where and how they look.
I don’t believe they are blocked from replying on Lemmy. That’s the opposite of what I’ve heard, but I haven’t really experimented.
I might be wrong, but I was under the assumption that Lemmy doesn’t stop them from replying. There was a recent conversation complaining because blocking people didn’t silence them.
If you want to test it, feel free to reply and block me, I’ll see if I can keep the conversation going. Unblock later tonight to see if it worked.
I guess Reddit does it that way, but I try not to think about that place anymore.
My experience is that on Reddit it replaces the comment with
[], similar to[]when a mod removes it, or[]when they delete it themselves.And that on Lemmy, it depends on client. On lemmy-ui (the default web client), it sometimes shows up as that “1 more reply” option, but when you click it, it never loads in. On Jerboa, it says something along the lines of “unable to retrieve this comment”.
Both of those are what happens when you come across a comment from a person who blocked you in the wild. It may or may not be different when it’s in your inbox.
I’ve been blocked by at least one person on Lemmy, for reasons that I honestly have no idea, and have come across this in the wild a couple of times, including opening something I originally found on my computer in Jerboa to double-check, as well as opening up incognito where I’m logged out and therefore not blocked.
Also replying to @MagicShel@lemmy.zip, @wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
I’ve blocked a lot too. Mostly people who have closed minds and aren’t listening just waiting for their turn to reply. I don’t have patience for that shit anymore, find someone else. *Block
People are trying to ‘win the argument’ for personal satisfaction. They’re not trying to self-correct or seek the truth.
How do we promote more people to cooperate instead of compete in the mutual pursuit of truth while maintaining humility and introspection that their own views could be incorrect?
Different format of discussion.
Social media: people trying to win binary points 👍👎
Wikipedia, scientific discussion, or a deliberative assembly: slow process towards writing a statement of a position, with lots of study along the way
There’s such a massive disconnect there, though, isn’t there? I agree the slow deliberative process is key; but there is clearly a missing piece of the puzzle to bridge that gap between experts and laypeople that unfilled leads to well… All this.
Not everyone is seeking truth.
That’s the problem
I used to agree with you. Ever since I started just blocking anyone that was being annoying my experience on the web has been great.
Honestly, turning inwardly to my family has been great. Especially given the political climate and my general disappointment. Finding “your people” is quite pleasant. Tribalism is sort of ingrained into us at a primate level, I suppose.
Still, I guess I try to strike a balance when all possible because I know the traps of building one’s own silo and the consequences that can have.
Im not advocating for you to turn away anyone that disagrees with you, just those that are annoying about it.
As I get older I value my time more and more, every second spent reading or talking to some asshole online is a second I’ll never get back.
I used to disagree with you, but i was new to Lemmy. Thanks for sharing
If you are talking about banning people in debate, Then you are not being fair. Any criticism can cause annoyance to some people, even if criticism have pleasant wording
I never said anything about a debate
I’ve got better things to do than read a load of horseshit from bad-faith weirdos, so I block them. No point engaging with them and reading their opinions makes my day measurably worse.
I use it to curate my lemmy experiance. 99% of the users/communities I block aren’t for anything personal, they’re just clogging up my ALL feed with things I dont care about (for example, sports ball or foreign language comms).
next you’ll tell me you don’t like incredibly low effort political memes reposted from (social media site you specifically joined lemmy to avoid), smh
Why are you subscribed to them? No need to block just curate.
I subscribe to ones I’m interested in. But sometimes I browse all to stumble across new interesting communities. I block the ones I see repeatedly and aren’t interested in. I block mass posters, I block bots, I block tankies, I block mods/admins of larger communities. It just makes my all browsing time more efficient.
What’s the purpose of blocking mods/admins of larger communities?
I just noticed a pattern of personality types that I didn’t mesh well with. So it’s best I don’t see their opinions, nor give them mine.
Like blocking all hexbear users. I’m sure I’m probably missing something worthwhile here and there, but overall my life is better without it.
I value my time, patience and sanity. There had been too many instances where I’ve poured way too much investment into things or people that just were not worth a single minute. The moment I feel someone gives me a snarky remark, wants to be a prick, wants to gaslight and whatever petty and bitter levels of engagement they want to bother me with. Fuck them, they’ll be blocked.
It does not make you weak or petty, that’s just them making up bullshit to excuse themselves when they knowingly were the problem.
Now in some cases it can be a little stupid to block people, like knowing you’re the one starting shit or deciding to get into debates you aren’t fitted to handle. Why would you do that to yourself? If you can’t handle it, don’t do anything. Lesson learned.
Damn if there was a function in real life where I can block someone and their existence disappears where other people can see them and I can’t? Fuck, dude, sign me up.
I use user notes for this - notes like “argues in bad faith,” “is knowledgeable about x,” etc. Then if I feel talking to someone is a waste, I still get their input if I want it but know whether or not to engage.
I use multiple devices to browse the web. Those user notes don’t carry over. So I just block people that argue in bad faith, those blocks do carry over, makes things easier for me to ignore, and prevents me from falling into the trap of debating those shitheads.
Blocking is a VERY GOOD THING.
The internet is a cesspool. You need to curate it.
Only issue I take with this is that the last year has shown us the internet represents living people, even if we put them out of sight.
That said, I don’t exactly know how we “solve” that cesspool.
Really? The internet is living people? Because if you ask me it’s at least 60% bots.
And regardless, nobody’s entitled to my attention if I don’t want to give it to them. Block button.
You don’t. It’s on other people to fix themselves.
Sadly, they think you’re a cesspool too for not agreeing with them. I’ve noticed my opinions have become super controversial now because I’m not a polarized person. And non-polarized viewpoints are EVIL to anyone who is an extremist, and all the extremists think they are moderates are the only ones who see ‘the truth’.
They never said otherwise. They’re just talking about a relatively recent cultural shift towards blocking people for no real reason
Counterpoint- why hasn’t blocking been more common?
I’m a millennial, so I’ve basically grown up with the internet. Blocking has been a feature on basically any website, app, etc. that lets you interact with other people for as long as I can remember.
And I’ve never been afraid to use it. I’ve blocked probably hundreds of people across countless platforms over the last 2 decades or so, and I think my Internet experience has been better for it.
When I was in school, and I assume still to this day, one of the big things that always seemed to have people’s feathers ruffled was “cyberbullying” and other sorts of online harassment.
Now I’ll admit, somehow I ended up a reasonably well-liked, maybe even popular dude, (no idea how my weird, antisocial, probably-autistic ass pulled that off) so I was never really the target of it myself.
But it always baffled me how people let it be a thing. A whole lot of those problems always seemed like they could have been solved by just hitting the block button.
Not all of them of course, but a lot of them. Blocking someone of course doesn’t stop them from talking about you to someone else, but at that point a lot of it can just be out of sight and out of mind.
Back when I still had a Facebook, I had probably half of my town blocked because they were always posting dumb shit in the local groups. I had a bunch of businesses blocked because they spammed advertisements everywhere. I had actual friends who I hung out with IRL blocked or at least unfollowed because they flooded my feed with shitposts. Half of my family was blocked because I just didn’t want to deal with them on social media. I preemptively blocked people I work with or otherwise knew casually because they don’t need to see what I’m doing online.
I have never blocked any one on the internet. And I probably have been in online conversations for longer than you have been alive.
I find it so strange that people do that. We learned in the 80’s that people are probably liars and there are trolls. So just ignore them.
Turns out a lot of people may have something that gets you annoyed while at the same time have something worthwhile to say about a different topic.
And how are we ever going to learn from each other if we just block each other all the time?
For me personally, I just don’t feel like dealing with yet another source of garbage that I don’t want to read.
In happier times, I felt a different way about blocking. Nowadays, the fucking potus forces the country to match some phony fucking Fox News image, and I don’t really care about reading some dumb assholes dumb rant anymore. Not blocking people and “dialog” and “debate bro” shit isn’t fixing this crap anyway, so I’m going to go ahead and make my own life contain a little less hassle.
That’s also why I’m only really here and on mastodon. I know they’re basically left wing safe spaces. I frankly don’t give a fuck.
I’m 31 now but I’ve always been pretty quick with a block button, i don’t mind people disagreeing with me, but some people are just overly aggressive and I find life’s better to just not care about them and block.
I also block trolls because you know don’t feed the trolls.
Bots, trolls, egomanics, thin skinneds.
Does that leave anyone left?
Not here fortunately!
Blocking is tempting when someone actively ignores arguments but keeps coming back with the same thing over and over, or can’t avoid ad hominem attacks.
That said, my block list is empty, but I have tagged people so I know if I’m running into them again.
Pretty much exactly the same here. Can you tag people on Lemmy (how?) or do you do it on a separate text file?
I use Voyager and it supports tagging.
I see, thanks!
People don’t like being forced to engage with belligerent reactionaries.
